Thursday, January 29, 2009

Love = Tubby Tubberson

Yes. It IS her. That's a picture of Jessica Simpson performing a couple weeks ago. No it has not been altered in any way. Stop asking me that.

Jessica Simpson is in loooooo-ve. Know how I know this?? No, its not the diatribe she's been spouting to the media for the last couple months; cooing that Tony Romo is her "soul mate" while batting her cow eyes, twisting her hair and giggling. No, I know she's in love for three reasons illustrated in the above picture:

1. She no longer cares about her life and career. She cares about their life together and his career. Which is why she's singing country.

At a chili festival in Florida. Yep.

2. Some people (ahem) gain weight when they're happy, which is why you can noticeably tell she put on at least twenty pounds. This also parallels number one as you're more likely to gain a bit when you're having your own personal tailgate party every Sunday instead of say... touring, dancing, and making videos.

And lastly number 3. She's caught her man. If he's not there, who left to impress? She's no longer on the hunt for "the one" and doesn't give a crap what she looks like, thus the horrible high rise "Tall Butt Syndrome" inducing mom jeans and the cinch-it-twice-as-tight cheetah belts.

What do you think? Think my logic is flawed? All this reminds me, I wonder if Randy wants to go hit some balls more often or go to the Legacy Center for a walk.

Now where's my yoga pants with the elastic top??? Blah.

1 comment:

liesel said...

you do angry social commentary well. It is very amusing.

..and I am compelled to agree with you. gross with both Jessica Simpson, and the McRib. Nasty stuff.

Doesn't hurt you're racking up the posts for the great blog off too eh?