I know you missed me... and I don't blame you.

So when I started this blog post I had in mind to give you a bunch of excuses and reasons why I haven't blogged in forever, ie: I have two demanding jobs, a hot boyfriend, a fairly regular social life and a mean streak of laziness only made worse by the invent of Pinterest, but then I was all like, hey, step off. I'm busy and important and I don't owe you an explanation. Just be glad I'm back ya'hear??

Hey, we all deal with guilt in different ways. I am agressive and defensive.

Anyway... Whats up with all of you? Its the beginning of a new year and I have made some tentative resolutions:

1. Stop drinking carbonation (again). While I type this there is a red solo cup filled with Pepsi sitting next to me (AGAIN). You know, they're GOALS. Like things you strive for. Sometimes you never meet your goals. OK. Enough of the judgment.

Man. I am just full of guilt on this post. Moving on...

2. Get my business back in order. I recently got a promotion at my other job, making the job I love--my photography business--way harder to concentrate on. My website has been telling me I need to do a back up and upgrade for some nine months or so and I have multiple shoots I haven't posted. Not to mention I have some sweet woman who wants to feature a senior session I did on her photography website and I haven't gotten her the pictures yet. I feel like a total slacker.

Did I mention that we got a PS3, a new Samsung Galaxy Tablet, a Netflix subscription, and we are now a season and a half into Weeds with no end in sight??? Sigh... Who am I kidding? I've started this blog post three seperate times in the last two days but hey I've streamed 22 episodes of a cable series. I have priorities people.

3. Eat better... Or you know... Less anyway. This also includes not eating out as much and laying off the Super Convenient When I Have Worked A Ten Hour Day And Still Need To Go Home And Do Laundry And Dishes fast food, which is also concurrent with the next resolution which is:

4. Save money. I just bought a new car. The car I had--which I LOVED--was starting to have some issues and it just wasn't cost effective to have them fixed, so while Hyundai was having some year end incentives we decided to take advantage of the situation and take a look. After 8 hours at the dealer and a bunch of test drives later we decided on the Sonata.



Beautiful car. But I didn't just want the regular engine... Oh no, had to have the turbo. And then I didn't just want cloth, I wanted leather. Lets just say I am a spoiled brat and now feel like I should take steps to save some extra money for the car payment. I just keep whispering to myself, "100,00 mile warranty" and then flatten that turbo and peal out like a bat outta hell. That usually makes me feel better. Self medicating has its moments.

And thats the end of the resolutions. Having too many goals you fail to meet doesn't do anything for the ole self esteem ya know what I'm saying? Besides as I write this I start to think to myself, how come resolutions have to suck so much? Why can't they be awesome? So here are some "awesome" goals too:

1. Eat more sushi. So this basically walks right up there and spits in the face of "Crap Resolution #4". I recognize that. I just don't care.

2. Do more shoots with HOT people doing cool things. Which I can tell you, as a professional photographer, is WAY better then taking pictures of ugly people doing nothing. Sooo. Much. Better.

3. Take my sexy car and my sexy boyfriend and go on a couple roadtrips. I'd really like to hit up Seattle and drive down the Oregon coast again. That sounds pretty awesome to me.

Thats it for me. I feel thats a nice comprehensive list. Whats on yours? If you haven't got any "Awesome" resolutions to go with your "Crap" ones I highly suggest you make some.

A happy New Year to you and lets stick it to those troublemaking Mayans already.

Summer recap or otherwise titled: What I Have Been Doing While My Blog Grows Mold

I’m very busy and important.

Didn’t you know?

While I have been quite busy with work and Shameless Photography, I have also been lazy and procrastinating too. There is just too much fun stuff going on in the summer. So when you consider all of those things you can possibly see why the ole blog is looking a bit dusty. Don’t worry… because of my lack of posts I will now do a very long and ridiculous post that will make your eyes burn from the strain. It will be that long and filled with that many visual goodies! You may have to take intermission half way through as to not suffer permanent damage. Don’t worry, I will let you know when is a good time to do this. I’m caring and understanding that way. Take a deep breath and away we go.

In June I had the lovely wedding of Miranda and Colby. The whole thing went beautifully and it was the type of setting that makes any photographers index finger twitch. So a special thanks to them for letting me be a part of their big day. My sister even got past the “nervous pooping” and came off looking like she does Thanksgiving Point weddings all the time. Ain’t no thing.

After the wedding I decided to just make my job easier and take the plunge. Yes the picture to the side is me making out with my new Canon 5D Mark II. Don’t look at me like that. You don’t understand. I NEED it. You know, if I actually stopped spending all my profit on more equipment I might actually be able to have extra money for stuff. Hmmm… nope that’s not gonna happen. I want way too much stuff!!

In the meantime, me and my 5D are having a torrid affair. Can I just tell you how much I love being able to take everyday snapshots indoors with no flash (ISO 6400 with a f2.8 lens. Woot! it’s a dream. See below.) Everyday is a honeymoon. And for those who are wondering, no it doesn’t kill me to carry this rig around. I barely notice. I already have built in arm muscles from the day job which is lucky or Lore’s illustrious title would grow to become Group Organizer/2nd Wedding Photographer/Camera holder/Lighting Girl Extraordinaire. Try saying that fast. Plus she thinks she already deserves 30% of my profit. Imagine what she’d want if I started her having her hold my camera too. Apparently I better start to charge more.

Ugh… assistants. Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t hold a reflector and shoot at the same time. (Sissy!! You know I love you!)

Lore’s birthday/family barbecue followed right on the heels of the wedding. As was my sissy’s request I made a HUGE mess of ribs; somewhere in the neighborhood of ten racks. Please note: if you ever decide to make a huge mess of ribs, either have two ovens or have a nice friend/neighbor who will let you mess up hers (Sorry Mel). This is mandatory. Also invite ever-skinny cousin-in-law who will eat two racks by himself. Genetic freak.

Anyway… As I just mentioned my lovely cousin and family were able to come down. Sarah and Boyd don’t hang out with the rest of us nearly enough and it was fun having
them and their kiddies there. We
had tons of good food. Everyone brought something yummy and we all left the table feeling like we’d put on ten pounds---except for Boyd I mean. My cousins got the pleasure of meeting Randy for the first time. Lucky lucky them. After the food, the rest of the kids took their cue from Kyle and all got together and attacked him. I enjoyed that part quite a bit.

When things cleared out a little bit we had a late fight night and Kyle showed us some of his moves to the enjoyment of all. Future cage fighter yo. Well, either that or Jedi Knight, but I’m not really sure if there’s a market for that nowadays or how much it pays, so maybe classes on jujitsu are a better idea then on using “the force“. I’m just saying.

Also in June, Pleasant Grove held their annual Strawberry Days Festival. Lore Randy and I took Courtney, Brittany and Kyle to their very first carnival. Yes I know, I know! Lore IS a mean mom. The kids had a blast. Courtney thought the Ferris Wheel was the coolest thing ever. She pretty much wanted to go again as soon her feet were planted back on solid ground. Brittany apparently did not. You would have thought it was some sort of unique torture designed specifically for dramatic little girls. Good times.

Kyle on the other hand was absolutely fearless. He wanted to go on anything that little short kid types were allowed on and he didn’t care if anyone went with him or not. Frankly I think the only reason Kyle even wanted any of us around was for more tickets.




Courtney always looks forward to Strawberry Days because they sell her favorite summer treat: strawberries and cream. We took a break in between some rides and all got some. She was like a homeless dog with a milk bone. She retreated to her own space and scarfed down her treat in silence only allowing time to breath in between bites if especially necessary. No she did not lick the cup. She DID however stick her fingers in and wipe the sides.

In the meantime, while eating their goodies, Kyle and Randy had a very stimulating and intellectual conversation. I believe Randy may have been asking him if he was having fun or the like and I think perhaps Kyle responded by saying something like, “Give me all your money punk, I need more tickets”.

I could be wrong on that last part. Its been awhile.

Baby Cameron AKA Barf Vader/Spitty Cent basically hung out, looked cute and puked on hisself. But that’s a normal weeknight for him.

We stayed until the carnival was closing up and hopefully till Kyle was a little wore out. It seems that carnivals are tiring for the older set as well. No they aren’t dead. That’s what Brittany asked also as we stood there trying not to giggle. However, she answered her own question when she noted with a slightly disturbed expression, “I saw the one with its mouth open close it. But then it opened it again”. And yes, she did use the term “it” as if the couple were strange life forms crashed on our planet in their minivan-esque ship.


I apologize to anyone who might happen to know these folks. I’m not trying to make fun of anyone, but they really were the whip cream on the sundae of my evening. I couldn’t help it. I guess we should all just be happy that their people rolled down the windows before they left them alone in the car. Bwa ha ha.

Okay. Enough of me being mean. Moving ON. (Also… this would be a good time for intermission in case you were wondering.)


On the Fourth of July, Randy and I found ourselves once again hanging with my sister. She didn’t have the younger girls on this holiday and Alexis already had plans so we decided against the usual barbecue and set off on a slightly different holiday strategy. Randy must have been feeling especially obliging on this day. Maybe it was the sunny weather. Maybe. But whatever the case he agreed to go along and get a pedicure with the rest of us. Since he seemed to be in such an agreeable mood I told the lady he wanted his toes painted black. He just shrugged and said sure. And he was watching the cooking channel. And he had the remote. AND he was sober.

Strange day.

My sister for her part spent her time intently watching the other big screen TV. This is because if she let her eyes wander they would be inescapably pulled toward the lady whose feet went through not just one, but two blades to remove what Randy refers to as her “moccasins” which would consistently cause her to gag. She began to send us picture messages of the pile of dead skin in front of her. I didn’t know whether to shudder or giggle. I did both.

After this fun filled activity we met up with Amber and went out for sushi. Yes I know, Diana already told me that it was completely un-American and that we should be ashamed, but we love it. Tepenyaki was great as usual. After that we did redeem ourselves a little by watching the Pleasant Grove city fireworks. I think they lasted approximately 8 minutes. Eh. We were slightly disappointed. BUT at least we weren’t disappointed AND pissed cause we had sat through the Jonas Brothers to see it.

The very next day I had shoot for a huge family get together. In all honesty, shooting big groups is my idea of special portrait photographer hell. However, the family was a total hoot and made the job a lot of fun. So a special thanks to Michelle for letting Lore and I be a part of their Mom’s party.

In between all of this, my insufferable never-ending sinus infection decided to get even worse if possible, I had a toothache unfortunately not directly related to said infection and I also decided to have a kidney stone. THAT was a fun week.

I have also noticed a disturbing trend called “When I Edit I Must Have Candy”. Considering the amount of editing I do on occasion, this is a very bad thing indeed. The flow of sugar must not be interrupted as it is imperative for the creative processes. Yeah I said it. Yeah its an excuse. Get off me.



A couple of weeks ago we had a fantastic BBQ at my sisters house with our friends Sam and Di. We had all manner of good things including tenderloin kabobs, Indonesian chicken satay, peanut sauce, and steamed rice. Randy convinced us that we needed to order the UFC 100 fights we had missed the weekend prior and I am so glad we did. Watching Dan Henderson knock out Bisping was one of the highlights of July. Fight fans, you know what I’m talking about. Awesome.

Pioneer Day my buddy Foodie and I decided to go see the new Harry Potter flick and made a pact to go to a restaurant we had never been to before for lunch. Somehow, mainly due to a lack of time, we found ourselves at a joint called Red Rooster Waffle Company. Now I don’t want to come out and hate on the place cause the proprietor seemed like a very nice fellow but well… it was crap. If you like orange butter that doesn’t melt on a waffle served with mystery chicken pieces in a strange tasting batter, or a waffle with Readi Whip and Hershies chocolate sauce on it passed off as a seven dollar dessert then stay home---you can make this stuff cheaper on your own. However, if this culinary delight does sound like something you want to try, well then I urge you to get out there and do it. And hurry--I don’t think it will be around long.

That weekend I had engagements with lovely couple Justin and Erin. They were hilarious and kept Lore and I laughing the whole time. Great sports. As a bonus, we had been waiting for ages for a shoot with a subject that would be right for the location for quite awhile and were pretty stoked to finally use it. Very cool place. More pictures of them will be on the website this week. Take a minute to check them out if you get the chance.

Lastly I went on a hot date with Di. She took me to a movie and I bought her some dessert. She put on make-up and did her hair. I was feeling pretty lucky. It was the second time I had seen Disney Pixar’s UP. I STILL cried twice. “Why do I not have the surprised feeling?“. I couldn’t even blame it on hormonal imbalance this time. I just love Doug, Alpha and the other dogs. Hysterical. Other then Monsters inc, its definitely my---SQUIRREL!!

You knew it was bound to show up sooner or later...

The aforementioned "resolution" post. Its kind of a gimmee blog post for one and all and who am I to sneer in the face of a suitable topic? Everyone has a blog subject as soon as that big hand hits the 12 on New Years Eve, so here's mine:

In no particular order:

• Sigh... go back to drinking non-carbonated beverages except on certain occasions which I deem admissible; like a Noss on fight nights. Otherwise, back to mix-ins. Boy am I looking forward to the caffeine withdrawals. Did I mention that I'm drinking a Mountain Dew as I read this??? I'll start riiiight after this...
• Read some more books. My goal is to get out of my usual comfort zone of thriller/horroresque books and read different genres. I started a bit this summer. I went from Stephen King to Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. That was a shock to the system. Next up? Perhaps a good romance. ::shudder:: Anyone have some great recommendations?
• Be more responsible financially. Yeah that shirt is SUPER cute, but do I REALLY need it? Wouldn't I be better served to spend the money on camera equipment which in turn can make me more money? Ugh... that's so hard sometimes, like most of our society I'm all about instant gratification.
  
• Continue to get better at photography and editing. That means getting out there even though its freezing and just taking pictures. This is a bit harder since my usual partner in crime (my sissy) is a little bit busy nowadays. So here's some notice, I may beg and pander to get some of you out and shooting.
  
• Get back to being semi-active despite the fact that its winter. I go into 'slug' mode when it gets cold. NO Kim, I still feel the same way about going to yoga with you. The thought alone makes me suicidal. Heh. Maybe you'd like to go scrapbooking....
• Become a better golfer. Perhaps trim off 5-10 strokes off the ole game this year. Hey maybe I could learn to putt half decent? I'm optimistic, but I'm also practical. I'm not going to be totally sad if this doesn't happen, after all its still fun trying.
  
• Remember to not take all the family and friends I love for granted. Remember they don't HAVE to be there, they are there cause they love me back and I should treat them like it. Spend more time with people I care about. APPRECIATE WHAT AND WHO I HAVE!!
  

I think that's a pretty good start and those goals should keep me pretty busy this year (I'm an underachiever okay? Sheesh, the no Pepsi alone is going to be a major test of this gal's self control). What are some of yours?

Oh and very lastly... Take the Great Blog Off trophy for 2009

Holiday highlights... or lowlights. I'm just sayin.

So without further ado:

2: Instances that new Baby Cameron got beamed in the head. Once with a binky, the second with a fun-size Snickers. I admit the former was my fault. My sister asked me to throw it to her and it went a bit wide. At first Cam just laid there with a glazed look on his face, then he blinked and started to cry.

Lore: "Oh I'm sorry, Aunt T is so mean isn't she?? Yes she iiiiis."

Me: "Whatever!! If your mom loved you she would have protected you!"

4: The number of times Randy shoveled the walk on the day I affectionately refer to as, "WhythecrapdoIliveinthisforsakenplaceanyway Day" where we got nearly 18 inches of snow. Excessive? Perhaps, but maybe you should ask our neighbors who got stuck in their own driveway. Bwa ha ha. Suckas.

100,000.000: The approximate number of calories I consumed while eating chicken tetrazzini, fettuccine alfredo, shrimp, pie, pumpkin bread, homemade candies, and all manner of good things in the last couple weeks. You know what? Lets just use that same number for "pounds gained on thighs" as well.

2: The number of SWEET computer accessories to add to my equally sweet new set up. My loving parents got me new Bose speakers that make Itunes and Pandora about ten times more addictive and my wonderful sissy got me a Bamboo Fun. I'm still working on mastering that but it should be good times while editing photos.

3: Vehicles Randy had to get out of snow drifts.

20+: Times I wanted to pick up Kyle and just hug the cuteness out of him while he was wearing his Ironman/Incredible Hulk pajamas and attempting to clock Randy. He's a boy after my own heart!

23: Inches in diameter the pizza we got from The Pie Pizzeria was for fight night. Best pizza in Utah. Hands down. Don't even try to front.

1: Good look at Randy wearing the "Traditional Pass-Around, Red Leopard Print Victoria's Secret Christmas PJ's". Usually a tradition exclusively exercised by my sister and I, this year she hid them in Randy's gift and much to the chagrin of us both, he donned the never-before-worn lovelies.

1:Times too many seeing Randy in the "Traditional Pass-Around, Red Leopard Print Victoria's Secret Christmas PJ's."

2: Number of bottles of D&G's Light blue I received, one from my sissy and one from my Dad. I'm thrilled and I smell SOOO good.

4: Times more movies we have watched since getting the new flat screen. I can't explain it. Your eyes glaze over and it sucks you in. Who'd have though I would be seduced by technology so?

30: Dollars worth of Itunes cards I got from Cheesy and 100 blank Cd's from Foodie. The trend-whore in me is so pleased.

3: Chocolate-cake-in-a-mug attempts. Two were horrible. One was bearable. Zero were worth the accompanied calorie consumption. ::le sigh::

100+: Onces of Pepsi I have consumed in the last month or so. A matter I will surely regret in the forthcoming resolution post.

4: Hours spent at the house by the Direct TV guy when he was setting up our new HD dish and receiver. I thought he'd moved in.

50+: Occurrences that prompted my eye to start twitching while driving this holiday season. What other factor could we add to un-plowed-blizzard-covered roads and explosive numbers of holiday shoppers?? The cell phone. Frustration and foul language ensue.

1: New photographers in the family when Courtney got a her first (adorable) camera for Christmas.

A Gazillion: Amount of thanks and well wishes I would like to give all my friends and family members! I hope you had as memorable a holiday as I did! Thanks for reading my blog and leaving comments. You guys are the best!

because I revel in the misfortune of others

Bah Humbug!!

In the spirit of the season I thought it was time to spout off some festive crap followed by a disclaimer stating how this season has been good for me and how that means bad things for YOU as my friends and loved ones. So without further ado...

Every year right around this time I am once again reminded why I detest Christmas music SO much. Every store I walk into has the mindless droning of a musician who thought a Christmas album would be great to pad the ole pocket book. I'll go ahead and compare it to say... the Twilight movie. Its the music version of that. Lets hurry and make it and shove it out there to be bought by the masses while its marketable, who cares if it's MADE well? Anyway... I digress. Don't get me wrong. There are some good ones out there, but you can only play them so many times in a space of time between Halloween and Christmas (Thank you Cozy and FM100 for singlehandedly making my ears bleed) before you gotta start filling in the holes with the real stinkers. The following is a list of songs that if I never hear again I won't be all peein' my pants about:

5. Wonderful Christmas time by Paul McCartney. Love love love it when he tries to get that extra syllable to fit.
4. Little Drummer Boy by David Bowie and Bing Crosby. Say what?? Who said, "ya know, I know who would just be GREAT together!!"
3. Anything sang by the Chipmunks, Muppets and or fictional cartoon or holiday characters. Do I have Barney playing in my car? No. I don't wanna hear its equivalent sang while I'm shopping either. 'Nuff said.
2. Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer by Dr Elmo. I can't believe stations even PLAY this. They are probably the same people that think Larry the Cable Guy is funny.

And finally the one you are all waiting for...

1.The Christmas Shoes by Newsong. Oh holy night, is that a BAD song. The person who wrote it should be publically flogged.

Did I miss anything??

And now on a last note, this year Randy and I decided that the bargains were too good to pass up, Christmas or no, on some things we have wanted for a long time. We recently purchased both a new desktop (post coming about THAT later) and a new flat screen TV. What does that mean for you??? You're all getting an old sock with candy in it. Sorry guys!

Because everyone deserves something nice for Valentine's...

Yesterday while waiting for my email to load (which takes an infernally long time for some reason) I saw an article on my homepage about what men want for Valentine's Day. Well I had some time to pass so I thought, "Why not?". While it totally left out anything having to do with razors, remotes, sports, and flat screen TV's which I totally expected to see in the whole stereo-typical 'Boy Gift List', it still had a few things that made me roll my eyes... or at least give them the eyebrow. It was written by a man. Maybe I had expected too much.

The first thing that I can maybe get behind cause it could be fun for both of you was starting some email or text flirting/foreplay in the morning and carrying it throughout the day. He mentioned sending a sexy email telling your guy what you love about him. Ok. I can see this. Every body likes to hear what their partner finds attractive about them. Just don't say something like, "Your back fat. Its sooo sexy!" cause even if you strangely do like it they may not. Then they just think you're with them cause you like back fat which is never good.

The next one said that while men loved to be thanked and given gifts on Valentines too its basically a holiday for women and he probably has the whole show planned out so don't try to undermine his plans. Save it for two weeks later and do something for him then. Now this might be the case for the guy who wrote it, but at my house we have learned something. Randy doesn't plan anything. His ideas for plans are asking me, "What do you want to do tomorrow?". And this isn't just with holidays in general, its his whole life. The man doesn't plan. It was left out of his DNA. If he does make a plan for a couple days in advance it usually centers around a little white ball and sticks they call clubs. I think that I have been the ring leader of any big plans we have had on any holiday ever. Usually for us Valentine's means a nice candle lit dinner at home because theres no reason to waste time waiting three hours in line at a restaurant when we can go anytime. Now I'm not knocking Randy's thoughtfulness. Randy is pretty much thoughtful and generous everyday, I'm certainly not going to get after him about his last minute run to Walmart. Or the strangely shaped bolster that he came in and handed me in years past. We call it the Monkey Cow. Thats all I will say about this.

Next the article said that a great gift idea for him was to buy YOU some lingerie and wrap it up for him and then put a note with it that says something like,"I'll be wearing this to dinner". On every list I've seen out there for what NOT to get WOMEN right up there near the top is "Lingerie". But I guess now in the new modern days we let the women pick out their own underwear. Not a bad idea. A woman is definitely going to get something that FITS. And you can bet your first born she's not going to get something she doesn't look good in. Now while this may mean it might not be what the man thinks is the super-sexiest-thing-ever, you can rest assured youre more likely to have a better night with a woman who is not inhibited or embarrassed by the leather dominatrix outfit you bought her. So letting a woman pick out her own sexy outfit aside, isn't this about as original as a box of chocolates and a rose? And I bet there's more then one woman out there that balks at the thought of spending all that money on something that will be worn for thirty seconds and most likely never again.

The last one was... are you ready for this one? A steak. It said that men like red meat. You should be willing to go somewhere he can have some. And as a lovely side note he mentioned that red meat boosts testosterone. Swell. and here all this time I thought Randy wanted a flat screen TV. What he really wanted was to make all the plans, for me to buy MYSELF underwear, to have some beef, and for me to take HIM out to dinner two weeks later. What a fool I've been!!

After rolling my eyes and finally looking at my newly loaded mail I saw another Valentines gift idea that made me laugh.

Yep. Nippies. Patch of FREEDOM. They advertise these as something you can wear so you can feel comfortable wearing a sheer top or any other revealing clothes. I guess in case you have a whoops you can be okay knowing that you have a heart patch over your nipples and your exposure will be oh so stylish. They also noted that they are fun and flirty for the bedroom and are water proof.

Awesome.

Yeah that would be cool on Valentine's Day. Covering up a major arogenous zone with something that would hurt ten times more then a band-aid to pull off. Oooo-weeee. Sign me up!!

After that I decided to look around for some other really good gift efforts. Here's a few of my favorites:

Thats right ladies, now when you get up at 5 in the morning to make your man a nice hearty breakfast before he hurries into the office you can give him a special surprise. On his toast.



I couldn't help myself... have you ever seen anything MORE rediculous. Thats what my underwear looks like after four years. And those are free. Usually I throw them away at that point. I know what youre thinking , oh no, not before that. But now I know better,



Oh yeah. American Gladiator E-cards. Best. Thing. Ever. Di this one is for you.


Why shouldn't a man buy himself underwear and give it to you? Thats what I thought. And here we go!!

And last but not least... for all of those celebrating Single Awareness Day. We have a gift for you too!!
I hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day!! What do you want for Valentine's?