Thursday, December 10, 2009

Strange new happenings

The cell phone has a strange power over people.
Its almost as if the cell phone is an actual present human being that gives a person a sense of being with others, like a pack mate. Much like the changes that occur when you have the the shy, quiet, lone teen and then you let them loose with other teens and they then become obnoxious, rude, hooligan types with no manners, the same thing happens with the average adult when they become attached to their cell phone in a public place. They go from a right-thinking individual to a tactless, thoughtless, blob of, "What? Did I do something wrong?".
Now perhaps you, the reader do some of the following things. I'm not coming at you. Perhaps you don't even realize the effect your behavior has on those around you because you are so engrossed with your conversation. That's why I'm here. To enlighten you to how big of a jerk everyone else is thinking you are. See, I've got your back like that.
  • The Obnoxiously Loud Conversation: For some reason people on the cell phone in public places think we want to hear their side of their conversations. They talk so loud you can hear them several yards away. Lady, I don't care that your sisters husband ruined the family reunion. And seriously, think about it. Do you want a dozen other strangers to know about your dysfunctional relationships? Blue tooth has added a funny element to this particular issue. Not only do all of us around you think that you're annoying, but for the first minute or two we think you're just plain crazy as well. I am so mentally mocking the lady that is 'outside voicing' to the heavens and gesturing as she pushes her cart down the grocery aisle. Then I go home and publicly mock them on my blog. Don't let this happen to you folks. And since we're on the subject of blue tooth ANYWAY...
  • The Individual That Wears Their Blue Tooth To Social Gatherings: Just don't. Okay? Basically you're telling everyone around you that they're not important enough for you to miss a call. As a matter of fact, how about we just say if you're not driving or doing something with your hands---you just look like a jerk. Next...
  • The Guy Whose Time Is Much More Important Then Your Own: People who stand in check out lanes, post office lines, in front of bank tellers etc and talk on the phone having no regard for the person across from them or the people behind them in line. How about this? How about you show some respect for your fellow human beings? Its called having manners. How would you feel if the bank teller was on a personal call while she counted your money? How about offering the same level of respect to these people that are trying to do their jobs? Difficult to remember that they aren't just animatronic wax figures sent to do your bidding I know, but TRY. Often the animatrons are much nicer that way. Or so I've heard.
  • And lastly the strangest phenomenon of all, The Person Who Has Nothing To Hide! (But Who We All Wish Did): This is the individual who I have seen lately that not only carries on The Obnoxiously Loud Conversation, but also has their phone on speaker so we can hear the OTHER side of the conversation TOO!!! Lucky us. Seriously? No wait, I mean SERIOUSLY?
So there you go guys. See how I look out for you like that?? Keep you from projecting yourself as the future crazy neighborhood cat lady? See, I care.