I know you missed me... and I don't blame you.

So when I started this blog post I had in mind to give you a bunch of excuses and reasons why I haven't blogged in forever, ie: I have two demanding jobs, a hot boyfriend, a fairly regular social life and a mean streak of laziness only made worse by the invent of Pinterest, but then I was all like, hey, step off. I'm busy and important and I don't owe you an explanation. Just be glad I'm back ya'hear??

Hey, we all deal with guilt in different ways. I am agressive and defensive.

Anyway... Whats up with all of you? Its the beginning of a new year and I have made some tentative resolutions:

1. Stop drinking carbonation (again). While I type this there is a red solo cup filled with Pepsi sitting next to me (AGAIN). You know, they're GOALS. Like things you strive for. Sometimes you never meet your goals. OK. Enough of the judgment.

Man. I am just full of guilt on this post. Moving on...

2. Get my business back in order. I recently got a promotion at my other job, making the job I love--my photography business--way harder to concentrate on. My website has been telling me I need to do a back up and upgrade for some nine months or so and I have multiple shoots I haven't posted. Not to mention I have some sweet woman who wants to feature a senior session I did on her photography website and I haven't gotten her the pictures yet. I feel like a total slacker.

Did I mention that we got a PS3, a new Samsung Galaxy Tablet, a Netflix subscription, and we are now a season and a half into Weeds with no end in sight??? Sigh... Who am I kidding? I've started this blog post three seperate times in the last two days but hey I've streamed 22 episodes of a cable series. I have priorities people.

3. Eat better... Or you know... Less anyway. This also includes not eating out as much and laying off the Super Convenient When I Have Worked A Ten Hour Day And Still Need To Go Home And Do Laundry And Dishes fast food, which is also concurrent with the next resolution which is:

4. Save money. I just bought a new car. The car I had--which I LOVED--was starting to have some issues and it just wasn't cost effective to have them fixed, so while Hyundai was having some year end incentives we decided to take advantage of the situation and take a look. After 8 hours at the dealer and a bunch of test drives later we decided on the Sonata.



Beautiful car. But I didn't just want the regular engine... Oh no, had to have the turbo. And then I didn't just want cloth, I wanted leather. Lets just say I am a spoiled brat and now feel like I should take steps to save some extra money for the car payment. I just keep whispering to myself, "100,00 mile warranty" and then flatten that turbo and peal out like a bat outta hell. That usually makes me feel better. Self medicating has its moments.

And thats the end of the resolutions. Having too many goals you fail to meet doesn't do anything for the ole self esteem ya know what I'm saying? Besides as I write this I start to think to myself, how come resolutions have to suck so much? Why can't they be awesome? So here are some "awesome" goals too:

1. Eat more sushi. So this basically walks right up there and spits in the face of "Crap Resolution #4". I recognize that. I just don't care.

2. Do more shoots with HOT people doing cool things. Which I can tell you, as a professional photographer, is WAY better then taking pictures of ugly people doing nothing. Sooo. Much. Better.

3. Take my sexy car and my sexy boyfriend and go on a couple roadtrips. I'd really like to hit up Seattle and drive down the Oregon coast again. That sounds pretty awesome to me.

Thats it for me. I feel thats a nice comprehensive list. Whats on yours? If you haven't got any "Awesome" resolutions to go with your "Crap" ones I highly suggest you make some.

A happy New Year to you and lets stick it to those troublemaking Mayans already.

So it turns out I'm pretty boring these days...

It has come to my attention that I must be preparing to hibernate. Why do I say preparing?? Because, although I have been indeed acting in a sloth-like manner (ie. coming home from work, eating dinner, then permanently parking on my couch to watch Chopped and only resuming mobility to make it to my bed at night) I am still stuffing my face as if I plan on living off my fat stores for three long winter months.

I think now would be a good time to break into the personal pantry if you know what I'm saying. Moo.

Oh... and blog more. Gees. Nag nag nag.

Excuses excuses, a smidgen of self loathing, utter disgust, and finally a little brevity and touch of smug satisfaction

I know my blog posts have been coming with the frequency of my sister's child support checks and I apologize to anyone who has checked back more then once only to be greeted again and again by the sinister smile of Ellen.

I've been busy.

Take a look. To the right is a picture of the garbage can next to my computer. It is filled to the brim with empty cans of carbonated beverages and flattened candy boxes and wrappers. This means only one thing:

I have been working Photoshop magic for nearly a fortnight.

I once noted in a prior post that editing required a constant sugar supply. If the sugar stops all production stops. The sugar must flow. Add that to the late nights I have been hard at work and you gotta add the caffeine. That's how this whole thing works. I have been working on a new website AND editing two shoots (and the day job). Its been busy. And I have had PMS... basically this last couple weeks has been a recipe for waistline disaster.

Lets move on to something even MORE unpleasant... shall we? Recently I had a family shoot. They were a family that really wanted something urban so we met up at the salt flats for a cool location that really fit their style. We noticed right off the bat when we got there hundreds of little flies.

They were everywhere. I looked down on my shoulder and I'd see hundreds. It was disgusting, it was shiver inducing, but since they were so small perhaps, we decided to tough it out. After all we'd come all that way. From the picture you can see shooting was a challenge as people kept wanting to move to swat the nasty little vermin away.

We swatted, we swiped, we spit, we wiped tiny flies out of our lip-gloss, and we shot. However, it soon became apparent that not only were these little guys a nuisance, but they were also BITING.

The family I was shooting was debating a reschedule when I looked at my sisters face and saw blood red welts in the corners of her eyes. That was enough for me. I called it and we tore to our respective vehicles shaking and swatting. We rolled the windows down and drove like bats outta hell. As we left it became quickly apparent that we each had a hundred billion raised bites. Lore had a mass along her hairline, I could feel my back was full of them, Alexis claimed she looked like she had the pox. Then... the itching began.

This is a picture of my back as it looked after we had made it home. It was disgusting. Together the three of us suffered most of the entire next week. I have never scratched so much in my entire life. Damn biting midges. Who knew?

Luckily that day was not a complete waste as we found some time to have a mini shoot with a couple girls that Alexis knew. This is the lovely Moriah. I'll have these posted soon.

Speaking of posting, the new website is now launched! Please go ahead and have a look at it. I have new bridals posted. I have been working on it for the last three or four weeks and I'm thrilled I'm finally caught up. If you have had it on your blog rolls please update it again or it won't show you when I've posted anything new. If you've never been but you're interested in seeing my work check it out at the link on the top right or at www.shamelessphotography.net.

Finally!! Now what am I gonna do with myself???

Maybe its better if you're smoking a joint?

You know what I miss? Black Angus. We used to make a 15 minute freeway drive because there wasn't a decent steakhouse in our area. Great steaks, the most amazing baked potato soup, a smashing Caesar. You know, good stuff. Then sadly a couple years ago they all closed up shop and POOF were gone.

Let us speak a bit about Texas Roadhouse if you will.

About a year ago Texas Roadhouse opened a location five minutes from our home. We have been on several occasions. I'm not a complete hater, as a matter of fact we went there for dinner last night, but I do have a couple beefs (please excuse the pun) with this joint.

I have a problem with the peanuts shells strewn casually all over THE ENTIRE RESTAURANT. I get that lil treats keep the hungry masses from turning on you and attacking your staff. That, however, seems to be in ample supply (every time I'm there I swear they have one staff member for every two patrons which is all fine and dandy but when they run out of stuff to do they walk the aisles prowling and flirting with each other, commenting on the adorableness of the others' studded jeans. No wonder the back of their T shirts desperately proclaim "I love my job!!" Why wouldn't they?). The peanuts kind of gross me out. Specially when I have to wade through them in my flip flops possibly catapulting shells in my wake all the way to my table.

Once at my table I have to yell over the cacophony of Boot Scootin Boogie and the wailing of Hootie minus The Blowfish to fellow diners. Then I stare blankly at our server while attempting to read his lips because I can't understand more then five words at a time. I get,"Cherry." "Cheese," and "Sooooo gooood." After that I just nod and smile. That place is LOUD. So if you were hoping on having a conversation, forget it. Two painfully shy people would find this the perfect place for first date dinner after a Bruckheimer movie.

After ordering I get to sit and stare at the likes of jackalope, burro blankets and Willie Nelson. Yeah I know its your restaurant Willie (which explains the twangy country and the fact that the staff will do a line dance to Jessica Simpson's These Boots Were Made For Walkin ) but why do I have to look at your ugly mug while eating? The food is decent. The steak is usually cooked how you ask for it. And if you wanna pay 2 dollars to have six mushrooms on it, well they can help you out there too. Lastly we have the Roadhouse birthday song that the staff screams at the top of their lungs and usually wraps up with an ear shattering "Yeeeeee Haaaaaaa!!!". Don't even get me started on how much I detest dining establishments that sing to customers.

So why do you ask? Why after all that negativity do I still go here?? Why do I complain about everything and still brave the crusted peanut shells between my toes at the table?

Because of these little darlings:

The honey butter rolls at Texas Roadhouse are my bitchy cryptonite. I LOVE them. I can honestly say I wanted to go there last night for these little piping hot carb balls and NO OTHER REASON. Thats it.

I can't control it. Its in my genes.

I'm a good driver. Albeit a bit of a lead foot.

I almost never go over 30 in a residential area. I obey all non-speed related traffic laws. And despite that one tiny little transgression, I feel like I am a conscientious and courteous driver.

Oh... as long as you're not an idiot. I forgot that part.

Unfortunately for the rest of you on the road, whether or not you fall into that category is completely decided upon by me. You know, like how deep I am in the clutches of a particularly evil brand of PMS, whether or not you are slowing me down, cutting me off, just generally irritating me by not turning off your blinker or all manner of other things.

I'm kinda a brat like that.

There is the one thing I do however that I cannot deny: I speed like a bat out of hell.

Mainly I save this behavior for the freeway. On average I go 75 mph but it would only be because the person in front of me is slowing me down or I can see UHP ahead. Normally I coast along at about 80. This works for me. I cannot fathom driving all of anywhere at 65. How do those people get anywhere on time?! Hmmm... I guess possibly they start earlier. Bunch of weirdos. But anyway.. really what I'm trying to get at here is that its not my fault.

Its genetic.

My grandpa Cliff once got a ticket for leaving a red light at too high a rate of speed. Apparently no one was gonna beat his Caddy out of the gate. My grandpa Lamar always was a bit heavy on the gas pedal and always beat everyone to wherever they were going. And my mom.... well lets just say that if we're both going down State Street and she doesn't hit traffic---all I see are tail lights (luckily the tailgating she performs either ISN'T genetically passed on or it skips generations).

So there you have it. Next time I get pulled over, I'm trying this defense. How do you think it will go?

I'm Needy!!

I recently read that to cultivate a blog following you really need to have new content every single day. For some reason creating a blog following is really attractive to me. You know, loads of people scattered across the country reading my oh so witty banter over their McCafe on an otherwise bleak work day and finding a little joy in it. ::sigh::

Of course the obvious bonus would be funneling some towards my photography business and getting work at the same time.

But that aside I cannot understand my compulsion for having readers. Do I have a strong need to get my important message out?? Well, one would first need a message. Considering I'm pretty liberal, completely anti-political, and have no cause I can think of other then my newly stated desire to stamp out the donning of all Croc footwear and getting that Urban kid booted off Idol, my soapboxes are few. Or should I say random. I guess in all likelyhood, my only goal is a scatterbrained blog with humerous insights into life and some photography thrown in the mix.

While the idea of new content everyday seems like an impossibility to me, I am vowing to work on getting closer to that goal. Will my blog posts turn into more drivel like this? Probably. Hopefully that's still enough for my very own blog following. I don't need much. Just enough that when I say unavoidable stuff that insults people, like how I don't care for Twilight or use the term "pimped out" that I still have leftovers. That works for me, 'cause thats how I roll.

Wistful...

Things have been pretty slow on the ole blog train lately. I know it.

I have found my mind wandering to other things, none of which make for very interesting banter for the blogosphere. For example, how the recent reemergence of the color green has made me have an itchy trigger finger and how I want to scout new locations and shoot fabulous models or how the holy trinity of the Bumpit, the Miracle Bra and the Booty Pop would make me irresistable to all men. You know, stuff like that.

I AM mightily looking forward to a couple things:

The return of Glee on Fox. Horay for another way to waste an hour of my time that I could be using to do important things--like my taxes.

The upcoming Daughtry/Lifehouse concert that I sorta just fell into thanks to Randy, my love.

And some senior shoots that are lined up, because they are my favorites and so much fun.

What are you guys looking forward to? I mean... besides the booty pop.

Summer recap or otherwise titled: What I Have Been Doing While My Blog Grows Mold

I’m very busy and important.

Didn’t you know?

While I have been quite busy with work and Shameless Photography, I have also been lazy and procrastinating too. There is just too much fun stuff going on in the summer. So when you consider all of those things you can possibly see why the ole blog is looking a bit dusty. Don’t worry… because of my lack of posts I will now do a very long and ridiculous post that will make your eyes burn from the strain. It will be that long and filled with that many visual goodies! You may have to take intermission half way through as to not suffer permanent damage. Don’t worry, I will let you know when is a good time to do this. I’m caring and understanding that way. Take a deep breath and away we go.

In June I had the lovely wedding of Miranda and Colby. The whole thing went beautifully and it was the type of setting that makes any photographers index finger twitch. So a special thanks to them for letting me be a part of their big day. My sister even got past the “nervous pooping” and came off looking like she does Thanksgiving Point weddings all the time. Ain’t no thing.

After the wedding I decided to just make my job easier and take the plunge. Yes the picture to the side is me making out with my new Canon 5D Mark II. Don’t look at me like that. You don’t understand. I NEED it. You know, if I actually stopped spending all my profit on more equipment I might actually be able to have extra money for stuff. Hmmm… nope that’s not gonna happen. I want way too much stuff!!

In the meantime, me and my 5D are having a torrid affair. Can I just tell you how much I love being able to take everyday snapshots indoors with no flash (ISO 6400 with a f2.8 lens. Woot! it’s a dream. See below.) Everyday is a honeymoon. And for those who are wondering, no it doesn’t kill me to carry this rig around. I barely notice. I already have built in arm muscles from the day job which is lucky or Lore’s illustrious title would grow to become Group Organizer/2nd Wedding Photographer/Camera holder/Lighting Girl Extraordinaire. Try saying that fast. Plus she thinks she already deserves 30% of my profit. Imagine what she’d want if I started her having her hold my camera too. Apparently I better start to charge more.

Ugh… assistants. Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t hold a reflector and shoot at the same time. (Sissy!! You know I love you!)

Lore’s birthday/family barbecue followed right on the heels of the wedding. As was my sissy’s request I made a HUGE mess of ribs; somewhere in the neighborhood of ten racks. Please note: if you ever decide to make a huge mess of ribs, either have two ovens or have a nice friend/neighbor who will let you mess up hers (Sorry Mel). This is mandatory. Also invite ever-skinny cousin-in-law who will eat two racks by himself. Genetic freak.

Anyway… As I just mentioned my lovely cousin and family were able to come down. Sarah and Boyd don’t hang out with the rest of us nearly enough and it was fun having
them and their kiddies there. We
had tons of good food. Everyone brought something yummy and we all left the table feeling like we’d put on ten pounds---except for Boyd I mean. My cousins got the pleasure of meeting Randy for the first time. Lucky lucky them. After the food, the rest of the kids took their cue from Kyle and all got together and attacked him. I enjoyed that part quite a bit.

When things cleared out a little bit we had a late fight night and Kyle showed us some of his moves to the enjoyment of all. Future cage fighter yo. Well, either that or Jedi Knight, but I’m not really sure if there’s a market for that nowadays or how much it pays, so maybe classes on jujitsu are a better idea then on using “the force“. I’m just saying.

Also in June, Pleasant Grove held their annual Strawberry Days Festival. Lore Randy and I took Courtney, Brittany and Kyle to their very first carnival. Yes I know, I know! Lore IS a mean mom. The kids had a blast. Courtney thought the Ferris Wheel was the coolest thing ever. She pretty much wanted to go again as soon her feet were planted back on solid ground. Brittany apparently did not. You would have thought it was some sort of unique torture designed specifically for dramatic little girls. Good times.

Kyle on the other hand was absolutely fearless. He wanted to go on anything that little short kid types were allowed on and he didn’t care if anyone went with him or not. Frankly I think the only reason Kyle even wanted any of us around was for more tickets.




Courtney always looks forward to Strawberry Days because they sell her favorite summer treat: strawberries and cream. We took a break in between some rides and all got some. She was like a homeless dog with a milk bone. She retreated to her own space and scarfed down her treat in silence only allowing time to breath in between bites if especially necessary. No she did not lick the cup. She DID however stick her fingers in and wipe the sides.

In the meantime, while eating their goodies, Kyle and Randy had a very stimulating and intellectual conversation. I believe Randy may have been asking him if he was having fun or the like and I think perhaps Kyle responded by saying something like, “Give me all your money punk, I need more tickets”.

I could be wrong on that last part. Its been awhile.

Baby Cameron AKA Barf Vader/Spitty Cent basically hung out, looked cute and puked on hisself. But that’s a normal weeknight for him.

We stayed until the carnival was closing up and hopefully till Kyle was a little wore out. It seems that carnivals are tiring for the older set as well. No they aren’t dead. That’s what Brittany asked also as we stood there trying not to giggle. However, she answered her own question when she noted with a slightly disturbed expression, “I saw the one with its mouth open close it. But then it opened it again”. And yes, she did use the term “it” as if the couple were strange life forms crashed on our planet in their minivan-esque ship.


I apologize to anyone who might happen to know these folks. I’m not trying to make fun of anyone, but they really were the whip cream on the sundae of my evening. I couldn’t help it. I guess we should all just be happy that their people rolled down the windows before they left them alone in the car. Bwa ha ha.

Okay. Enough of me being mean. Moving ON. (Also… this would be a good time for intermission in case you were wondering.)


On the Fourth of July, Randy and I found ourselves once again hanging with my sister. She didn’t have the younger girls on this holiday and Alexis already had plans so we decided against the usual barbecue and set off on a slightly different holiday strategy. Randy must have been feeling especially obliging on this day. Maybe it was the sunny weather. Maybe. But whatever the case he agreed to go along and get a pedicure with the rest of us. Since he seemed to be in such an agreeable mood I told the lady he wanted his toes painted black. He just shrugged and said sure. And he was watching the cooking channel. And he had the remote. AND he was sober.

Strange day.

My sister for her part spent her time intently watching the other big screen TV. This is because if she let her eyes wander they would be inescapably pulled toward the lady whose feet went through not just one, but two blades to remove what Randy refers to as her “moccasins” which would consistently cause her to gag. She began to send us picture messages of the pile of dead skin in front of her. I didn’t know whether to shudder or giggle. I did both.

After this fun filled activity we met up with Amber and went out for sushi. Yes I know, Diana already told me that it was completely un-American and that we should be ashamed, but we love it. Tepenyaki was great as usual. After that we did redeem ourselves a little by watching the Pleasant Grove city fireworks. I think they lasted approximately 8 minutes. Eh. We were slightly disappointed. BUT at least we weren’t disappointed AND pissed cause we had sat through the Jonas Brothers to see it.

The very next day I had shoot for a huge family get together. In all honesty, shooting big groups is my idea of special portrait photographer hell. However, the family was a total hoot and made the job a lot of fun. So a special thanks to Michelle for letting Lore and I be a part of their Mom’s party.

In between all of this, my insufferable never-ending sinus infection decided to get even worse if possible, I had a toothache unfortunately not directly related to said infection and I also decided to have a kidney stone. THAT was a fun week.

I have also noticed a disturbing trend called “When I Edit I Must Have Candy”. Considering the amount of editing I do on occasion, this is a very bad thing indeed. The flow of sugar must not be interrupted as it is imperative for the creative processes. Yeah I said it. Yeah its an excuse. Get off me.



A couple of weeks ago we had a fantastic BBQ at my sisters house with our friends Sam and Di. We had all manner of good things including tenderloin kabobs, Indonesian chicken satay, peanut sauce, and steamed rice. Randy convinced us that we needed to order the UFC 100 fights we had missed the weekend prior and I am so glad we did. Watching Dan Henderson knock out Bisping was one of the highlights of July. Fight fans, you know what I’m talking about. Awesome.

Pioneer Day my buddy Foodie and I decided to go see the new Harry Potter flick and made a pact to go to a restaurant we had never been to before for lunch. Somehow, mainly due to a lack of time, we found ourselves at a joint called Red Rooster Waffle Company. Now I don’t want to come out and hate on the place cause the proprietor seemed like a very nice fellow but well… it was crap. If you like orange butter that doesn’t melt on a waffle served with mystery chicken pieces in a strange tasting batter, or a waffle with Readi Whip and Hershies chocolate sauce on it passed off as a seven dollar dessert then stay home---you can make this stuff cheaper on your own. However, if this culinary delight does sound like something you want to try, well then I urge you to get out there and do it. And hurry--I don’t think it will be around long.

That weekend I had engagements with lovely couple Justin and Erin. They were hilarious and kept Lore and I laughing the whole time. Great sports. As a bonus, we had been waiting for ages for a shoot with a subject that would be right for the location for quite awhile and were pretty stoked to finally use it. Very cool place. More pictures of them will be on the website this week. Take a minute to check them out if you get the chance.

Lastly I went on a hot date with Di. She took me to a movie and I bought her some dessert. She put on make-up and did her hair. I was feeling pretty lucky. It was the second time I had seen Disney Pixar’s UP. I STILL cried twice. “Why do I not have the surprised feeling?“. I couldn’t even blame it on hormonal imbalance this time. I just love Doug, Alpha and the other dogs. Hysterical. Other then Monsters inc, its definitely my---SQUIRREL!!

The popsicle calls my name

Bring on the unbearable heat in our sweltering apartment whose windows face due west in which our swamp cooler only pretends to work.

Let rip the higher gas prices.

Tally forth the mosquito bites and all the unbearable itching that comes with them.

Give me the rodeo P.A. system that we can hear clearly from our house which includes the ever witty banter of the rodeo clown in all of its twangy red neck glory.

Let me have the ever growing weeds that spring up overnight in our flowerbeds.

Unleash your multitude of summer vacationing, sweaty, screaming children into places I shop.

Let loose the sun burns, the bugs, and the infernal farmers tans.

Give me golf widowdom, give me flat hair, give me the freakishly loud rooster crowing outside my window at six in the morning. Give me all these things.

Because quite frankly... all of this is better then anything winter.

Let summer begin!!

Turns out I'm a pretty busy girl

This last month has kept me on my toes, and unfortunately a bit stressed, which if you know me, is very uncharacteristic.

I was told by Randy that a certain friend was whining about there not being any interesting blog fodder to read on the Internet of late. Yes I know I have been neglecting my blog writing duties but I've been quite busy, and I mean that in the real way--not in the way you tell someone you didn't call back because they talk incessantly about their kids or their husband or their life. UGH. Please.

No... I really have been crazed. I mean come on. I still have the last two weeks of Idol Tivo'd.

Here's a list of what I've been up to:

• Working at my job 40 hours a week.

• Finally got my hair done after 8 months. No longer look greasy for no reason. Definite improvement. Thanks Heidi!!
  

• Decided to get sick cause I like to talk like the adolescent janitor in Monsters Inc: honking as if I'm going through puberty. At social events.

• Randy and I finally got the flower beds all cleared out so they no longer look like a pioneer child should stumble out of them.

• Shot lovely engagements for Di and Sam (If I do say so myself).

• Co-hosted a bridal shower with my wonderful oven-challenged sister that I think went terribly well despite the apparent lack of any mind-numbing shower games

• Scanning numerous photos for a video played at said shower.

• Went with my buddy Suzi and her brother to Red Rock Brewery for dinner and then to a concert at Salt Air. We saw Hey Monday, Cobra Starship, Metro Station, and All Time Low open up for Fall Out Boy. Fun side note: Suzi upon being told that one of the singers of Metro Station was Hannah Montana's brother decided that she could no longer like them on principal and spent the rest of their set shaking her head and mumbling.

• Did my taxes. Yes. One day before they were due. Because a little panic makes life more interesting.

• With a good word from Kim (thanks!!), and Di and Sam's great photos I booked another engagement job. Shot the gorgeous couple last weekend. Between the two shoots my spare time has been spent editing. Every time Randy walks into the computer room and I'm on the Internet and NOT editing, I get the whole "I'm disappointed in you" look. ::sigh:: Good bye Itunes... hello Photoshop.

• Did manage to squeeze in a game of golf on one of those nice days and shot my best 18 hole score ever. Bonus.

So there you have it. That's whats been keeping me from posting intriguing and provocative blog rants of late. Next up I have weddings and bridals so I'm afraid to say it, but updates are probably going to be a little slow coming. I'll do my best. Don't forget to check in... you never know when I'll have a moment to throw in some more "wardrobe malfunctions" and such.