Mom... Happy Mother's Day. This one is for you.

Sometimes my life really does serve as a warning to others...

So, some may call this a spoiler. I call it being NICE.

Friday of last week I saw The Watchmen.

It was, hands down, The Worst Film EVER. Now that this major milestone in my life has been met I can move forward with a degree of confidence that every movie I see forthwith will at least be better then that. Saying that it was the worst movie ever takes some doing, because it took pretty much an act of God to dislodge Howard the Duck out of that spot. Lets give The Man a hand for having fooled me all this time.

Now before I get carried away, I'll tell you this: I love me a good super-hero/comic book type flick. Who doesn't? Also I quite enjoyed the last graphic novel-turned film by the same director which was 300 and a fantastic good time. I wrongly used these things as a basis as to why I should enjoy the watchmen. Silly silly me.

First off, the movie and its whole storyline is so convoluted and messy. The film drags on for nearly three hours and every SECOND is crammed with so much that you neither like nor care for any of the characters. The costumes look not unlike things I've seen 13 year olds wearing on Halloween. I should have known it wasn't going to get any better when the coolest guy in the entire film looks like a dirty sock and talks with a Christian Bale "Batman" voice the whole time, the villain resembles and dresses like Siegfried sans Roy with Tiger-esque thing in tow, the heroine basically dons latex lingerie and her love interest looks like a dopey 80's Chevy Chase wannabe that even Clark Kent couldn't pretend to be intimidated by. It was basically a dream for the nerd set. They got to see a fairly graphic sex scene between two "super-heroes", some eye-roll inducing romantic moments and then a sudden swift change to completely gratuitous violence.

And last but not least by a long shot, we have "Dr. Manhattan" or as I like to call him: The Naked Nuclear Blue Dude. This character is the only one in the whole movie that has any true abilities (despite the fact that the rest of them manage to kick everyone else's butt with nothing going for them other then the fact they have a 70's porn star mustache and are wearing their mother's old bath robe or a head band). I don't know about you but the quickest way to make a superhero not cool is to make them invincible. What fun is that? Whats Superman without kryptonite? Whats Wolverine without the bad dreams and equally bad attitude? Whats Spiderman without girl troubles and self loathing???
Anyway... moving on to the real issue here. Doc likes to pretty much spend the film nude and the director pretty much likes to make the camera angle crotch level.

Never in my life had I seen blue penis. And now I've seen more then I ever wanted to.

Thank you Watchmen. Thank you.

Ode to my sissy

Recently my sister wrote a blog about wanting her daughters to begin to appreciate each other like her and I do. The post prompted me to make a comment saying how much I value the person my sister is a lot more now that I've grown up. This made me consider that Lore most definitely deserves, at the very least, her own blog post. The following are a small list of only some of the reasons I am so lucky to have her as my sister:

• With the exception of perhaps one person, my sister is the one that I can be completely childish and goofy with and she will be just as goofy with me. I don't think anyone BUT me knows just how silly she can get. She doesn't judge, she doesn't roll her eyes and shake her head, she plays along. Sometimes we sing the Ping Pong Song and do our best Rob & Big recreations. Sometimes we jam to Sexy Back (yeah). Sometimes she does her own personal rendition of the dime-a-dance girl choreography from the Pat Benetar "Love is a Battlefield" video while pregnant, in underwear, and ironing to my OBVIOUS enjoyment.
  
  
  
  On occasion she will do the double-chin frog face at me while at the salon, or pretend to snatch a "flying booger " out of the air in one bite after I have pretended to flick said booger. While waiting at a streetlight. In separate cars. Sometimes we drop everything to go on slurpee or snowie runs for the excuse that we can be as stupid as we want in the car and have sugar (bonus!). The list goes on. Anything we do, we have fun doing it. AND we try and do it in the dorkiest way possible. Its a gift really.

• My sissy is generous. She doesn't mind giving or sharing what she has. Sometimes my sister will pay for us to do something and doesn't mind if it takes me a while to pay her back. She knows I always will. And she hardly ever harps on me about it. If I ever need something, and its in her power to help me out, she always will. Wanna use her computer? Sure! Could use a ride to the insta-care? No problem! Need a snack from the pantry? Help yourself! Want to borrow that cute shirt? Go right ahead! Maybe that's where someone got the idea that she'd be OK sharing him too.. *ahem* So ANYWAY...

• My sissy is adventurous. She's always up to try some silly things I want to do. Even if its not really her thing, most of the time if I ask she'll be game. The other day I suggested that I give her photography "homework" and she agreed! If I want to take a class, go see some festival, drive to some out of the way place for dinner, whatever it is, if she has the time she's always willing to support me in my endeavors. And you know what the best part is? If I'm excited about it, she's excited about it. That's a great feeling.

• Lore recently posted a blog about her 5 top character strengths. Basically I think one of her greatest strengths IS her strength. My sister has gotten through a LOT of rough times. My mom would always say to me, "I just don't know what she's going to do" and I would always answer her (in a slightly peevish sorta way) "Make no mistake about it Mom, Lore is STRONG. She's going to be better then you think. She can handle a LOT". And she has. I admire her for her fortitude and her ability to move forward.

• And this last thing may be a small thing but its big to me; My sister, without fail, always tells you "I love you" before she hangs up the phone. I never remember to say it, but it makes an impact on me every time she does, and I just wanted her to know it.
  

I love you too.

a shout out to all who love me

I have to make a note cause I suck!!

I totally forgot to thank my fantastic sister for being a wonderful "assistant" at this shoot. She holds a reflector like a real pro folks. Not only that but she took time out of her busy schedule to help me for no reason other then because she loves me. Certain things that have happened in this last year have made me really appreciate the ones I love and those who love me a lot more. For some reason they are the easiest ones to take for granted. So now I am trying a lot harder not to.

I think that was Kiefer's legacy FOR ME.

I'm really lucky I have my sister, especially now when things are sort of hard for both of us. She's so strong.

So, to all of my loved ones and my fantastic friends (who are NOT a separate category) thank you for being a part of my life. Sometimes I may not show it but I appreciate every one of you. You all make up little parts of who I am and all have special places in my heart.

So my shout outs...

To Amber: Thanks for being a friend for so long. I think sometimes people think that we bicker a lot. But its like family, we may be ornery one day but we know the other will still love us tomorrow!! That's pretty special I think (however, that's part of that whole taking someone for granted thing... so I'm gonna be better!).
To Diana: You always know what to say to make me feel better. Thank you for the talks. I truly love spending time with you, you always make me laugh and sometimes that's all anyone ever needs.
To Krissy: I'm so lucky to still have my childhood best friend in my life!! No one knows me like you do and no one ever will. We really need to get together more, specially for those girl's nights. I miss those. And when you stop hobbling around we'll grab Amber and hit the golf course!
To Suzi: I'm glad that even though there's been periods where we didn't see each other much you keep wandering back into my life! I love that you always give someone a fair shake. You never judge and you're so open and honest. I'm so glad that as we got older we found OTHER things to do together. Thank you for being a partner in crime in so many adventures. Here's hoping we keep having lots more. Now, lets get Krissy and go out for SUSHI!
To Lore: Sissy... I love you. Thank you for being my friend AND my sister. What more can I possibly say?
To my Mom and Dad: They probably never get on here because they are internet challenged, but thank God for them. I know they will always support me in their own ways. Even if they hate what I'm doing.
And to my lovely nieces: Thank you for letting me hang out at your house all the time. Thank you for sharing their mom with me even though its hard. You guys are the best,