A Cha Cha update---or otherwise titled "How Cha Cha is a Writhing Den of Depravity"

Just for the sake of revisiting last weeks topic... Once again my BFF Di and I found ourselves on the same couches, same time, same Tivo'd channel.

Its interesting how American Idol stimulates such deep and fulfilling conversation.

While listening to the judges prattle on while feeling self important, Diana mentioned to me that her husband Sam had heard that Ellen Degeneres has tattoo sleeves which is why she always wears long sleeved shirts. I made a face and said I didn't think she seemed the type. Diana agreed but also noted how it was interesting how she always seemed to have on long sleeved attire.

"I'm gonna ask Cha Cha!" she proclaimed and chortled, "They are always sources of such reliable information." I laughed and agreed. To all those out there who are sarcastically challenged--that was sarcasm.

And... I pity you.

Diana sent off a text message asking about the possibility of arm length tattoos on the new Idol judge. Cha Cha promptly responded with this: "Ellen Degenres has a book titled 'The Funny Thing Is'. It was released on September 28, 2004. Can I help you with anything else?"

To this I sat up and said loudly, "WTF!? Yeah you can! Say, 'Yeah. Can you answer my question ????'" Diana and I both laughed and she texted Cha Cha with our response to their generous offer of further guidance.

Seconds later we got our answer:

"Yes I am gay and so is my lesbian lover. Would you like to join us?"

...

...come again????

Rock music befuddles the mind

I recently attended a rock concert with my friend Diana featuring Daughtry with Lifehouse and Cavo as opening acts. It was a good time and even though I wasn't really familiar with Cavo, I enjoyed all the sets. It had been a little while since I had been to a real rock show and while there I gleaned some interesting factoids. I call them fact-toids because they are opinion with a little tiny bit of space debris sized fact included. Okay? Off we go!

First off. Old people like Daughtry. Like my mom's age old. They also like to stay seated throughout the entire concert and I'm betting complain bitterly that all they can see is the glint of the spotlight off Chris' shaved head. Eh... at least they got the early bird prices at Sizzler before heading to the E Center.

Next up: Women of great size love a man with a shaved head and tight jeans. That's not to say that woman of all sizes might not enjoy such a man, only that there seemed to be a large quantity of really big gals there, and thusly such a concert does great things for your own self esteem. By the end of the evening, me and my ample behind felt absolutely smokin.

If you are an opening act, opening for the OTHER opening act, and maybe haven't really hit it big yet you should probably teach your audinence your hot single before asking them to sing it without you. The lead singer of Cavo got at mix of garbled humming and...

"Coulda been the the champagne, ...champagne?"

"No, its coulda been the migrain, MIGRAINE."

" ...the three-way????"

"I love this song."

If you are interested in the actual lyrics you can hear the song here.

Then we have the very large population of shaved headed men. Now I can be down with the head shaving thing on certain guys. Chris Daughtry, Jason Statham, Vinn Diesel are nice examples of attractive men that keep it cropped close. However, at this concert were many a man that just could not pull it off. Instead of looking tough and hot, they looked like a misshapen melon had hijacked a body. And a wallet chain. Guys if you think you might wanna go for the shaved head look, do it in the privacy of your own home on a long weekend. And then ask your girl how it looks. If she answers without laughing and or crying you're golden.

Or she's a woman of dramatic proportions. Either way, someone likes how it looks. I'm just sayin.

Lastly, it seems that if you're a woman, you should be wearing a shirt and or jeans with a great deal of "bling". We're talking glitter, or rhinestones, or at the very least sequins. Oh and also loud rock music, bright lights, reflective concert-wear and Chris Daughtry on stage can lead to moments of forgetfulness... on purposeness... as illustrated below:

Di (while eyeing a particularly glittery drunk girl): Maaaan... I can't believe I didn't wear my sequin shirt tonight.

Me (in an equally valley-girlesque tone): I know right?? Now Chris will NEVER see you in this crowd. Uhhh.

Di: Crap! I know!! Just great... but he's married anyway so...

Me: Is he?

Di: Yeah don't you remember?

Me: I mean is he still? Do you know for sure?

Di: Oh I'm sure he is,

(pause)

...and come to think of it... so am I.

Its your birthday, we gon' party like its your birthday

Happy Birthday Blog!!

 

My blog is turning 2.  Its a toddler now!!  Meaning I get even more reason to act out and say irresposible things.  Or at least dump whole boxes of cereal on the floor and cry when tired.  Terribly good start I think.

 

 

To celebrate we are going to go to the Melting Pot downtown tonight.  OK... thats not EXACTLY true.  We are going to the Melting Pot, but not in celebration of lovely blog's birthday (Travesty I tell you.  Travesty).  Instead we are going with money Kim gave us for Christmas, which also included hand written sentiment in which she threatened us against hooligan-like activities using said monies with severe bodily harm. 

Also we have wanted to go there forever!

 

Randy and I always talked that we wanted to go there but the Melting Pot encourages reservations and such.  If you know Randy at all you would know that making plans are not in his repetoire.  Thus we haven't been.  Kim gave us the push we needed to actually take destiny into our hands.  We invited my sister, Randy made reservations, and tonight we're gonna eat some fondue!!

 

Will keep you updated on eating of tasty things and having glorious time.

Summer recap or otherwise titled: What I Have Been Doing While My Blog Grows Mold

I’m very busy and important.

Didn’t you know?

While I have been quite busy with work and Shameless Photography, I have also been lazy and procrastinating too. There is just too much fun stuff going on in the summer. So when you consider all of those things you can possibly see why the ole blog is looking a bit dusty. Don’t worry… because of my lack of posts I will now do a very long and ridiculous post that will make your eyes burn from the strain. It will be that long and filled with that many visual goodies! You may have to take intermission half way through as to not suffer permanent damage. Don’t worry, I will let you know when is a good time to do this. I’m caring and understanding that way. Take a deep breath and away we go.

In June I had the lovely wedding of Miranda and Colby. The whole thing went beautifully and it was the type of setting that makes any photographers index finger twitch. So a special thanks to them for letting me be a part of their big day. My sister even got past the “nervous pooping” and came off looking like she does Thanksgiving Point weddings all the time. Ain’t no thing.

After the wedding I decided to just make my job easier and take the plunge. Yes the picture to the side is me making out with my new Canon 5D Mark II. Don’t look at me like that. You don’t understand. I NEED it. You know, if I actually stopped spending all my profit on more equipment I might actually be able to have extra money for stuff. Hmmm… nope that’s not gonna happen. I want way too much stuff!!

In the meantime, me and my 5D are having a torrid affair. Can I just tell you how much I love being able to take everyday snapshots indoors with no flash (ISO 6400 with a f2.8 lens. Woot! it’s a dream. See below.) Everyday is a honeymoon. And for those who are wondering, no it doesn’t kill me to carry this rig around. I barely notice. I already have built in arm muscles from the day job which is lucky or Lore’s illustrious title would grow to become Group Organizer/2nd Wedding Photographer/Camera holder/Lighting Girl Extraordinaire. Try saying that fast. Plus she thinks she already deserves 30% of my profit. Imagine what she’d want if I started her having her hold my camera too. Apparently I better start to charge more.

Ugh… assistants. Can’t live with ‘em. Can’t hold a reflector and shoot at the same time. (Sissy!! You know I love you!)

Lore’s birthday/family barbecue followed right on the heels of the wedding. As was my sissy’s request I made a HUGE mess of ribs; somewhere in the neighborhood of ten racks. Please note: if you ever decide to make a huge mess of ribs, either have two ovens or have a nice friend/neighbor who will let you mess up hers (Sorry Mel). This is mandatory. Also invite ever-skinny cousin-in-law who will eat two racks by himself. Genetic freak.

Anyway… As I just mentioned my lovely cousin and family were able to come down. Sarah and Boyd don’t hang out with the rest of us nearly enough and it was fun having
them and their kiddies there. We
had tons of good food. Everyone brought something yummy and we all left the table feeling like we’d put on ten pounds---except for Boyd I mean. My cousins got the pleasure of meeting Randy for the first time. Lucky lucky them. After the food, the rest of the kids took their cue from Kyle and all got together and attacked him. I enjoyed that part quite a bit.

When things cleared out a little bit we had a late fight night and Kyle showed us some of his moves to the enjoyment of all. Future cage fighter yo. Well, either that or Jedi Knight, but I’m not really sure if there’s a market for that nowadays or how much it pays, so maybe classes on jujitsu are a better idea then on using “the force“. I’m just saying.

Also in June, Pleasant Grove held their annual Strawberry Days Festival. Lore Randy and I took Courtney, Brittany and Kyle to their very first carnival. Yes I know, I know! Lore IS a mean mom. The kids had a blast. Courtney thought the Ferris Wheel was the coolest thing ever. She pretty much wanted to go again as soon her feet were planted back on solid ground. Brittany apparently did not. You would have thought it was some sort of unique torture designed specifically for dramatic little girls. Good times.

Kyle on the other hand was absolutely fearless. He wanted to go on anything that little short kid types were allowed on and he didn’t care if anyone went with him or not. Frankly I think the only reason Kyle even wanted any of us around was for more tickets.




Courtney always looks forward to Strawberry Days because they sell her favorite summer treat: strawberries and cream. We took a break in between some rides and all got some. She was like a homeless dog with a milk bone. She retreated to her own space and scarfed down her treat in silence only allowing time to breath in between bites if especially necessary. No she did not lick the cup. She DID however stick her fingers in and wipe the sides.

In the meantime, while eating their goodies, Kyle and Randy had a very stimulating and intellectual conversation. I believe Randy may have been asking him if he was having fun or the like and I think perhaps Kyle responded by saying something like, “Give me all your money punk, I need more tickets”.

I could be wrong on that last part. Its been awhile.

Baby Cameron AKA Barf Vader/Spitty Cent basically hung out, looked cute and puked on hisself. But that’s a normal weeknight for him.

We stayed until the carnival was closing up and hopefully till Kyle was a little wore out. It seems that carnivals are tiring for the older set as well. No they aren’t dead. That’s what Brittany asked also as we stood there trying not to giggle. However, she answered her own question when she noted with a slightly disturbed expression, “I saw the one with its mouth open close it. But then it opened it again”. And yes, she did use the term “it” as if the couple were strange life forms crashed on our planet in their minivan-esque ship.


I apologize to anyone who might happen to know these folks. I’m not trying to make fun of anyone, but they really were the whip cream on the sundae of my evening. I couldn’t help it. I guess we should all just be happy that their people rolled down the windows before they left them alone in the car. Bwa ha ha.

Okay. Enough of me being mean. Moving ON. (Also… this would be a good time for intermission in case you were wondering.)


On the Fourth of July, Randy and I found ourselves once again hanging with my sister. She didn’t have the younger girls on this holiday and Alexis already had plans so we decided against the usual barbecue and set off on a slightly different holiday strategy. Randy must have been feeling especially obliging on this day. Maybe it was the sunny weather. Maybe. But whatever the case he agreed to go along and get a pedicure with the rest of us. Since he seemed to be in such an agreeable mood I told the lady he wanted his toes painted black. He just shrugged and said sure. And he was watching the cooking channel. And he had the remote. AND he was sober.

Strange day.

My sister for her part spent her time intently watching the other big screen TV. This is because if she let her eyes wander they would be inescapably pulled toward the lady whose feet went through not just one, but two blades to remove what Randy refers to as her “moccasins” which would consistently cause her to gag. She began to send us picture messages of the pile of dead skin in front of her. I didn’t know whether to shudder or giggle. I did both.

After this fun filled activity we met up with Amber and went out for sushi. Yes I know, Diana already told me that it was completely un-American and that we should be ashamed, but we love it. Tepenyaki was great as usual. After that we did redeem ourselves a little by watching the Pleasant Grove city fireworks. I think they lasted approximately 8 minutes. Eh. We were slightly disappointed. BUT at least we weren’t disappointed AND pissed cause we had sat through the Jonas Brothers to see it.

The very next day I had shoot for a huge family get together. In all honesty, shooting big groups is my idea of special portrait photographer hell. However, the family was a total hoot and made the job a lot of fun. So a special thanks to Michelle for letting Lore and I be a part of their Mom’s party.

In between all of this, my insufferable never-ending sinus infection decided to get even worse if possible, I had a toothache unfortunately not directly related to said infection and I also decided to have a kidney stone. THAT was a fun week.

I have also noticed a disturbing trend called “When I Edit I Must Have Candy”. Considering the amount of editing I do on occasion, this is a very bad thing indeed. The flow of sugar must not be interrupted as it is imperative for the creative processes. Yeah I said it. Yeah its an excuse. Get off me.



A couple of weeks ago we had a fantastic BBQ at my sisters house with our friends Sam and Di. We had all manner of good things including tenderloin kabobs, Indonesian chicken satay, peanut sauce, and steamed rice. Randy convinced us that we needed to order the UFC 100 fights we had missed the weekend prior and I am so glad we did. Watching Dan Henderson knock out Bisping was one of the highlights of July. Fight fans, you know what I’m talking about. Awesome.

Pioneer Day my buddy Foodie and I decided to go see the new Harry Potter flick and made a pact to go to a restaurant we had never been to before for lunch. Somehow, mainly due to a lack of time, we found ourselves at a joint called Red Rooster Waffle Company. Now I don’t want to come out and hate on the place cause the proprietor seemed like a very nice fellow but well… it was crap. If you like orange butter that doesn’t melt on a waffle served with mystery chicken pieces in a strange tasting batter, or a waffle with Readi Whip and Hershies chocolate sauce on it passed off as a seven dollar dessert then stay home---you can make this stuff cheaper on your own. However, if this culinary delight does sound like something you want to try, well then I urge you to get out there and do it. And hurry--I don’t think it will be around long.

That weekend I had engagements with lovely couple Justin and Erin. They were hilarious and kept Lore and I laughing the whole time. Great sports. As a bonus, we had been waiting for ages for a shoot with a subject that would be right for the location for quite awhile and were pretty stoked to finally use it. Very cool place. More pictures of them will be on the website this week. Take a minute to check them out if you get the chance.

Lastly I went on a hot date with Di. She took me to a movie and I bought her some dessert. She put on make-up and did her hair. I was feeling pretty lucky. It was the second time I had seen Disney Pixar’s UP. I STILL cried twice. “Why do I not have the surprised feeling?“. I couldn’t even blame it on hormonal imbalance this time. I just love Doug, Alpha and the other dogs. Hysterical. Other then Monsters inc, its definitely my---SQUIRREL!!

For you Diana...

Congratulations are in Order

Congratulations to my BFF Diana and her great guy Sam. I wish you all the happiness in the world!! Thank you for the opportunity to be the one to catch these once in a lifetime memories. I'm honored. You guys enjoy that honeymoon!!

Holiday highlights... or lowlights. I'm just sayin.

So without further ado:

2: Instances that new Baby Cameron got beamed in the head. Once with a binky, the second with a fun-size Snickers. I admit the former was my fault. My sister asked me to throw it to her and it went a bit wide. At first Cam just laid there with a glazed look on his face, then he blinked and started to cry.

Lore: "Oh I'm sorry, Aunt T is so mean isn't she?? Yes she iiiiis."

Me: "Whatever!! If your mom loved you she would have protected you!"

4: The number of times Randy shoveled the walk on the day I affectionately refer to as, "WhythecrapdoIliveinthisforsakenplaceanyway Day" where we got nearly 18 inches of snow. Excessive? Perhaps, but maybe you should ask our neighbors who got stuck in their own driveway. Bwa ha ha. Suckas.

100,000.000: The approximate number of calories I consumed while eating chicken tetrazzini, fettuccine alfredo, shrimp, pie, pumpkin bread, homemade candies, and all manner of good things in the last couple weeks. You know what? Lets just use that same number for "pounds gained on thighs" as well.

2: The number of SWEET computer accessories to add to my equally sweet new set up. My loving parents got me new Bose speakers that make Itunes and Pandora about ten times more addictive and my wonderful sissy got me a Bamboo Fun. I'm still working on mastering that but it should be good times while editing photos.

3: Vehicles Randy had to get out of snow drifts.

20+: Times I wanted to pick up Kyle and just hug the cuteness out of him while he was wearing his Ironman/Incredible Hulk pajamas and attempting to clock Randy. He's a boy after my own heart!

23: Inches in diameter the pizza we got from The Pie Pizzeria was for fight night. Best pizza in Utah. Hands down. Don't even try to front.

1: Good look at Randy wearing the "Traditional Pass-Around, Red Leopard Print Victoria's Secret Christmas PJ's". Usually a tradition exclusively exercised by my sister and I, this year she hid them in Randy's gift and much to the chagrin of us both, he donned the never-before-worn lovelies.

1:Times too many seeing Randy in the "Traditional Pass-Around, Red Leopard Print Victoria's Secret Christmas PJ's."

2: Number of bottles of D&G's Light blue I received, one from my sissy and one from my Dad. I'm thrilled and I smell SOOO good.

4: Times more movies we have watched since getting the new flat screen. I can't explain it. Your eyes glaze over and it sucks you in. Who'd have though I would be seduced by technology so?

30: Dollars worth of Itunes cards I got from Cheesy and 100 blank Cd's from Foodie. The trend-whore in me is so pleased.

3: Chocolate-cake-in-a-mug attempts. Two were horrible. One was bearable. Zero were worth the accompanied calorie consumption. ::le sigh::

100+: Onces of Pepsi I have consumed in the last month or so. A matter I will surely regret in the forthcoming resolution post.

4: Hours spent at the house by the Direct TV guy when he was setting up our new HD dish and receiver. I thought he'd moved in.

50+: Occurrences that prompted my eye to start twitching while driving this holiday season. What other factor could we add to un-plowed-blizzard-covered roads and explosive numbers of holiday shoppers?? The cell phone. Frustration and foul language ensue.

1: New photographers in the family when Courtney got a her first (adorable) camera for Christmas.

A Gazillion: Amount of thanks and well wishes I would like to give all my friends and family members! I hope you had as memorable a holiday as I did! Thanks for reading my blog and leaving comments. You guys are the best!

all good things must come to a bitter, tragic end

As this year starts nearing to a close I've been looking back on some things and seeing which matters went well and which veered completely off course and crashed into a truck carrying crates of chickens.

One thing in particular that didn't go quite as I expected was The Great Blog Off. Initially started as a contest between Stubborn Foodie and myself and then expanding to include my sissy, Easily Amused, and my lovely friend Cheesy Goodness; the Great Blog Off was a competition to see who could post the most blogs throughout the year. Who would have thought that my sister would murder us all in the posts category? Even more shocking to me was the fact that Cheesy was in fact very deeply hedged in the second place spot with me bringing up a distant third and Foodie who was the "original" blogger so far behind I couldn't even smell her usual scent of baked goods.

Now I know that Foodie and I can both cry foul with our computer issues but in the end we really did just get out-blogged by the two people that I thought would do it the LEAST. So bravo to my sister and Cheesy!! You two win the prize!! (Just as soon as I get a suitable loveliness).

So now that I have tasted defeat---and it tastes like bile--who wants in on the next years GREAT Blog Off??? We'll start fresh and on equal ground on January 1st. I think we'll all be back to working computers, and we have some time to be thinking of fun posts as the start date approaches. Remember its all about quantity, not quality people (ok so if you want people to actually read it that might be flip-flopped). So hop on the band wagon. Remember its a win win, the more people who participate the more posts you have to read, besides everyone needs GOALS. It will motivate you! If you've just been a lurker as of late and thinking about starting to blog or just slacking on your posts, now's the time!!
PS... You're all still tagged. Please refer to previous post!!

I wish the real world would stop hasseling me.

I have recently returned from my first vacation in two years. My boy Randy, my two very good friends Ber and Di, and myself drove to San Diego and from there went on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera. It was an adventure, and though sometimes complicated trying to please everyone, for me in particular it was the best of both worlds. Randy got to golf and see Tiger play at the Buick Invitational. I got to explore beaches in La Jolla, go to Sea World, and sun bathe at a resort in Ixtapa with the ladies. Perfection. We had three stops on the cruise: Acapulco, Zihuatenejo/Ixtapa, and Manzinillo (Chanel--you were so right, Ixtapa is where its AT).



Heres the highlights:

• Returning to San Diego, an emerald green, beautiful, friendly, coastal city that I adore.


• Rolling down the windows in January


• Spending time with my good friends that in the daily hustle and bustle I don't get to see as much as I like.


• I finally got to touch a dolphin. And yeah.. okay, they sorta do feels like a wet hot dog.

• Having someone to wait on me, clean up after me, and basically taking care of every whim.


• Consuming more guacamole, chocolate melting cake, shrimp, mango strawberry angel food cake trifle, and carbonated beverages then ever before recorded.


• Enjoying four different beautiful beaches.


• Hairy chest contests


• Good natured mockery of kareoke singing Canadians


• Watchhng Di give Mexican booth owners the wagging finger while proclaiming "I don't want no pesos!


• BubuLubu


• Going down more waterslides then I have since the days of Classic Skating


• The term "all inclusive"


• Hearing about multiple snow storms in Utah while enjoying sunny 90 degree weather.

• The sweet tan I have now and the fact that I have escaped almost completely burn and peel free.


• Towell animals. They make me happy.


• Returning to Ocean Park Inn on the boardwalk. My favorite place to stay.

• World Famous Restaurant's lobster bisque ::drools::
  

The Lowlights (or what I like to call "things that make for better stories")

• Watching Ber sleep almost the entire way to California while Di and I tossed and turned ALL night.


• The decor of our first Hotel in Cardiff by the Sea looked like Queen Victoria' s stuffy Aunt Mildred's country estate.




• How you feel after consuming more guacamole, chocolate melting cake, shrimp, trifle and carbonated beverages then ever recorded.


• Mild heat stroke from the 90 degree weather


• Being forced to pay little boys for shoddy merchandise.


• The initial fear of imminent death the first time snorkeling

• Getting smacked in the face by Di's non-conformist paddling tecnique.


• Eating at least one wave at three of those four beautiful beaches


• Bathrooms with no toilet paper... oh and no running water either, Did I forget that?


• Hairy chest contests


• Surprise surprise but when you disenbark from San Diego in January its not warm on the deck till the second day at sea. who knew?

• Having sand... everywhere.


• Being sea sick. Anyone who says you can't feel the boat move LIES.


• Watching Ber smother her daily cheese and ham omelet with maple syrup.

• Lobster bisque does not come with free refills.
• Dolphins are whores. You must pay for their affection.
• Cult owned 7-11's with no bathrooms
• My head has started to peel. I now look like I have chronic dandruff. Great, I did say I almost escaped.
• Have become slug.

It was so fun. I can't wait to get out of here again already!!

For another take on it check out my friend Bers blog here.