Wednesday, February 27, 2008

maybe she's born with it

So yesterday while strolling the hallowed aisles of Wal-Mart I succumbed to my vanity.

Now in general I would say I'm not vain. I mean I do like to look nice and rarely leave the house without make up but if I really truly were vain I would have a lot of questions to answer considering the ample size of my butt. I'm definitely not one of those velour jogging suit clad women on Jerry Springer that personify the term "jiggle" and say things like, "I's aaaaalll that!". I have my good points but I am also sane enough to know my less then glorious points as well.

Anyway, yesterday I made a bee line right to that Maybelline aisle. I had seen this commercial on TV a lot lately with a gorgeous pouty lipped model talking about their VolumeXLSeduction Lip Plumper as her hair blew fantastically around her in a dramatic and awe inspiring way. Her hair never even got stuck in her gloss. That says something. I decided to give it a try.

Did I mention it cost eight dollars?

Awhile back when I had been tanning my lips had gotten chapped AND burned and it turned my pout into something sensationally puffy--for the day at least. It was then that I knew that if I didn't already feel so strongly that we are beautiful just the way God made us (read: If I only had the money to spend in such a frivolous way) I would totally get collagen injections.

My feelings about plastic surgery are simple. If you do it because it makes you feel better about yourself, do it. If you're doing it because you want you and your imaginary BFF Kiera Knightly to look exactly alike, don't do it. If you work out hard but just don't get the results you've been trying so hard for, get it. If you think you need to be unnaturally out of proportion to please your man or stick it to the ex-boyfriend, DON'T GET IT. Don't do it if you're just trying to be perfect like your neighbor with the cheating lawyer husband and the BMW. If you do it for the wrong reasons I seriously doubt that that is what you're missing and the plastic surgery isn't going to fix it.

That last part I think is seriously important. I read an article not to long ago that said that Utah was third in the country for breast enlargements after California and Florida. Now with the majority of our population being ultra conservative and or dress modestly due to their religious belief, what do you really think is driving these women? We cannot claim the oceans of models, actresses and other look-based industries that California and Florida do. Do women in Utah have lower self esteems or is there just a bigger push here to be perfect? Does this happen to have any correlation with the fact that we have the highest incidence of prescription drug abuse in the country as well? I'll let you decide.

In the mean time I will just be content with my plumping lip gloss and being uncomplimentary to those people in Hollywood that definitely have done it and won't admit it. Mariah... I'm talking about you!! I think a lot of us would have a thing or two lifted or sucked out or put in. What would you do if money wasn't an option? And if you are just dying to know if this plumping thing actually works I will tell you this: I'm not sure. It tingles. I can tell you that. And sometimes I think they do look bigger, but I could just be deluded.


Lucky-Unlucky? said...

TaDa!!! Look at me I'm all over the place now!...Any way, I think that the women in Utah are WAY to concerned about "keeping up with the Jones'", huge push to be perfect and low self esteems. Hence the perscription drugs. Prozac anyone??? My sis flat out told me that it is a fashion war at her church...PA LEASE!!!! Are you kidding me? Not that I'm a church goer, but that's what they go to church for these days? Count me out.

Shamelessly said...

Well... I didn't say it. But I think that that has a lot to do with it. So I hear you.

SuziQ said...

If I had the money, I'd definitely get some stuff done! And fashion wars at church...I wanna know what I have to wear to guarantee me a spot in heaven...please share! :)

Just me said...

It is no secret to anyone that knows me, I want boobies! And then I want to have that turkey waddle removed, I have seen how bad it can get.. (sorry mom).

Oh and My counter is not on crack! I think you have yours set up to only count UNIQUE hits, not EVERY hit!

Lois said...

I so don't get the plastic surgery thing. Maybe if I was in a horrible fire or explosion and my face got ripped off, then I'd get it. Otherwise it kind of grims me out.

As far as the fashion show at church, I'm the one who's always showing up with a dress and hiking boots, hair in tangles and no make-up. My kids like to joke that the neighbor looks better mowing her lawn than I did on my wedding day (seriously, she wears pearls and high heels to mow her lawn!).

I'm depending on my giving blood every six weeks to get me into heaven (it'll probably be the only way -- I'll have to tape my donor card to my temple recommend).

Oh, I found you through Suzi.