the not-so-great outdoors

My friend Lucky Unlucky recently blogged about the movie Into The Wild and left a question out there. Do we think we could leave behind all our worldly possessions and live in the wild with a few meager belongings and leave the everything behind?

I could totally see myself doing that.
I'd leave behind my cute strappy heels, my flat iron, my mascara, my internet, and my Murano. All of my luxury possessions would be cast aside; my down comforter, my throw pillows, my fleece bathrobe. I would hunt and fish for just what I needed to survive. I would be one with nature and would become friends with forest foxes and watch the Grizzly from a respectful distance. I'd gather nuts and berries and would make a suitable winter home, perhaps out of a hollowed tree trunk ala My Side of the Mountain. Also, I would be drunk.

No, more seriously, it would take alcohol AND some serious mind-altering drugs to get me to do that.

As a matter of fact I can't think of much I'd rather do LESS. Its ranked right up there with major in trig and take a kindergarten class to a meat packing company. This is more like what would really happen:

I'd try to pack everything. The mascara, the flat iron, the internet. That's right, its all going in my designer carry-all.
I'd drive up to the mountains in my Murano.
I'd walk for awhile. But not too far cause its hard to carry all that stuff in cute strappy heels.
I'd see fish in the river and my stomach would growl. I'd mumble, "sushi" in my delirium.
I'd try to pet a fox unsuccessfully while calling it "puppy" and would get eaten by a Grizzly.

That's it in a nutshell. I'm a city girl.
I don't even like to camp. But that's another blog post.