Saturday, March 15, 2008

the not-so-great outdoors

My friend Lucky Unlucky recently blogged about the movie Into The Wild and left a question out there. Do we think we could leave behind all our worldly possessions and live in the wild with a few meager belongings and leave the everything behind?

I could totally see myself doing that.
I'd leave behind my cute strappy heels, my flat iron, my mascara, my internet, and my Murano. All of my luxury possessions would be cast aside; my down comforter, my throw pillows, my fleece bathrobe. I would hunt and fish for just what I needed to survive. I would be one with nature and would become friends with forest foxes and watch the Grizzly from a respectful distance. I'd gather nuts and berries and would make a suitable winter home, perhaps out of a hollowed tree trunk ala My Side of the Mountain. Also, I would be drunk.

No, more seriously, it would take alcohol AND some serious mind-altering drugs to get me to do that.

As a matter of fact I can't think of much I'd rather do LESS. Its ranked right up there with major in trig and take a kindergarten class to a meat packing company. This is more like what would really happen:

I'd try to pack everything. The mascara, the flat iron, the internet. That's right, its all going in my designer carry-all.
I'd drive up to the mountains in my Murano.
I'd walk for awhile. But not too far cause its hard to carry all that stuff in cute strappy heels.
I'd see fish in the river and my stomach would growl. I'd mumble, "sushi" in my delirium.
I'd try to pet a fox unsuccessfully while calling it "puppy" and would get eaten by a Grizzly.

That's it in a nutshell. I'm a city girl.
I don't even like to camp. But that's another blog post.

5 comments:

Just me said...

You kill me! I needed a good laugh.
Oh, and by the way I think I have forgotten how to use a "real" keyboard, I have had to retype almost every word... that bites.

Love you sissy.. don't get eaten by a bear, it would make me sad, and give him gas.

SuziQ said...

I wish I was more the type of person who could do something like that, but I'm realistic...I know I couldn't do it. Way too attached to my modern conveniences. I do like camping, though...but not roughin' it too hard-core! LOL I can do without my hairdryer and heels and such for a weekend, at least. :)

D said...

Umm, this has nothing to do with this specific blog post, but I just saw that you think you are the aunt to the cutest kids EVER??? I just want to say no you're not, and when you are aunt to my kids, you definitely won't be!

Shamelessly said...

Sissy, I do my best. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'd do all I could to give him more then gas. I mean with all the crap I eat? Seriously.

Suzi.. I hear you. My idea of camping must include a trailor and a bathroom.

Di.. I'm sure your children will be lovely. And so far I am sticking with my original declaration. Cutest kids EVER.

Lucky-UnluckyOne said...

You're all sissies! LOL I once went on a camping trip in the middle of no where and when I finally found myself "In'Town" I took a sponge bath in a sink at a Maverick! It was a classic, and the best damn shower ever!