Bah Humbug!!

In the spirit of the season I thought it was time to spout off some festive crap followed by a disclaimer stating how this season has been good for me and how that means bad things for YOU as my friends and loved ones. So without further ado...

Every year right around this time I am once again reminded why I detest Christmas music SO much. Every store I walk into has the mindless droning of a musician who thought a Christmas album would be great to pad the ole pocket book. I'll go ahead and compare it to say... the Twilight movie. Its the music version of that. Lets hurry and make it and shove it out there to be bought by the masses while its marketable, who cares if it's MADE well? Anyway... I digress. Don't get me wrong. There are some good ones out there, but you can only play them so many times in a space of time between Halloween and Christmas (Thank you Cozy and FM100 for singlehandedly making my ears bleed) before you gotta start filling in the holes with the real stinkers. The following is a list of songs that if I never hear again I won't be all peein' my pants about:

5. Wonderful Christmas time by Paul McCartney. Love love love it when he tries to get that extra syllable to fit.
4. Little Drummer Boy by David Bowie and Bing Crosby. Say what?? Who said, "ya know, I know who would just be GREAT together!!"
3. Anything sang by the Chipmunks, Muppets and or fictional cartoon or holiday characters. Do I have Barney playing in my car? No. I don't wanna hear its equivalent sang while I'm shopping either. 'Nuff said.
2. Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer by Dr Elmo. I can't believe stations even PLAY this. They are probably the same people that think Larry the Cable Guy is funny.

And finally the one you are all waiting for...

1.The Christmas Shoes by Newsong. Oh holy night, is that a BAD song. The person who wrote it should be publically flogged.

Did I miss anything??

And now on a last note, this year Randy and I decided that the bargains were too good to pass up, Christmas or no, on some things we have wanted for a long time. We recently purchased both a new desktop (post coming about THAT later) and a new flat screen TV. What does that mean for you??? You're all getting an old sock with candy in it. Sorry guys!

sweet sweet oblivion

Today my uterus tried to stage a coup. It mustered it's buddies; the Fallopian Tube brothers and Ovary twins to shake things up. Apparently it thought I would just roll over (without popping open my ever present mammoth sized bottle of ibuprofen) and DIE???

Silly, silly, little uterus.

I have since reestablished my tyrannical rule.

Peace out.

babies scare me...

Its true. I am an annomaly, unique, a genetic freak of nature if you will---but its all true. Lets talk a moment about babies.

I am the youngest of two and my sister is considerably older then me. All my close friends growing up were all the babies of the family or pretty close to it. I never babysat and never had any inclination to. I don't have any kids, and for the most part, have had no desire to have any. Thats right. Somewhere in my genome sequence I missed out on that little guy that gives you a maternal instinct. When they were passing out hot heaping shares of "subconscious need to love anything soft, pink, and mewling" I was in the "sunshine, puppy dogs and lollypops, lala lala la!!" line.

I know some find stance on this topic completely unatural and think theres something wrong with me and thats fine. I, for the love of all that's holy, can't figure out why people wanna have whole litters at 18---so we're even. Its not like I haven't thought about it, and in the end I just came to the conclusion that I invest everything I have into ONE relationship--two, or heaven forbid more then that, would just not work for me. In essence i am too selfish an individual: I like money and things. Kids are expensive. I like to travel. I wanna go to places with a startlingly lack of grown men dressed as cartoon charecters. I like time to immerse myself in my interests. They do not include feces and or any other bodily expulsions.

Strangely enough to some, I'd much rather deal with teenagers. I get along marvelously well with teens. They are a little irrational at times, but look at my family! Thats nothing new. The Crazy is always showing out this way. So bring on the sullen teenagers. Especially the boys, they are less drama. And they don't crap their pants. I say that puts us on a level playing field.

My friend Di has a fabullous list she recites, titled: Another Reason Not To Have Kids. Perhaps she'll post it. Its hillarious.

In the meantime go ahead; cheer me on, pity me for my bad judgement, laugh, or maybe feel a rise of religious indignation about my decisions. Just don't call me to babysit.

There's been a time or two where my declaration that I am the "Aunt to the cutest kids ever" has been challenged. I just wanna take a moment to gloat and to repeat my original assertion. I am aunt to the cutest kids ever. Go ahead... look at these and just TELL me I'm wrong. It will be all lies but just go ahead.

Yeah... what now???

so.. like... yum.

Friday we visited Greg's at UVU. It is the student restaurant for the culinary department there. It was Japanese week and it was a great time. The food was pretty good, except it seems, for a certain soup that my sister, Randy and my mom got. It was called Egg Custard Soup. When the server brought it to the table it jiggled, not unlike jello or my thighs. As they started to eat it the conversation went like this:

Mom: What's in it?

Lore: I dunno. It scary.
Randy: It has... meat in it.
Mom: I can't figure out what it tastes like.
Lore: Ummmm...
Randy: It tastes like... Mushrooms
Mom: There's no mushrooms in there!
Randy: No, no.. like um.. bean.
Mom: Yeah.. Beef.(Ber and I begin to laugh as we eat our perfectly normal Miso soup)
Randy: Not Beef! No like... Pork and beans.. without the pork.
Lore: It yucky. I'm not eating that, I can't tell what's floating in it.
Mom: Yeah.. its smokey. I don't like it.
Randy: Yeah I know what it tastes like. Smoked ASS.

So there you go. The REST of the food was pretty good and the presentation was awesome. Its a very reasonable price for five courses and really fun for a change of pace.

Check it out!

so... that meant what??

I usually listen to the radio when I get ready for work. The morning show that I listen to has a "dream interpreter" on about once a week. I pretty much feel the same way about dream interpreters as I do about psychics, taro, and astrology, which means I sorta think in my heart of hearts that its a bunch of "hooey". That's the super intelligent way of saying that I'm a bit on the skeptical side.

Sometimes I think that the dreams are sorta self-explanatory. Sometimes I think she reaches a little bit. For example: a helicopter in a dream is about something in your life "taking off". A baby is about a "new beginning". Sharks attacking you in a dream are about somebody that is trying to verbally "drag you down". Thats all fine and good I guess, but personally I think maybe you should just lay off the Nyquil and Discovery Channel combo sometimes.

The night of the last dream segment I had a particularly interesting dream:
I was at work, but not my work (you know how dreams are). I was in a room talking to Randy when my friend Di called to me from the warehouse next door. I knew everyone was there with the bay door open watching the Wendy's across the parking lot because it was on fire. I didn't want to go but she said the police wanted to talk to me. I walked into the warehouse and they started to question me because apparently, I seemed to have had a history of arson.
Mmmmk. Yeah. My friends call me Matches.

Anyway... I started to get really angry because no one believed that I had nothing to do with it. I started to yell and get really upset when suddenly Di screamed, "No! she didn't do it! I did it! I'm sorry, it was an accident!! I was just so scared that I didn't say anything!!" She started to cry and hug me. I just kept telling her it was okay, that it was an accident and everything would be alright. Of course she didn't mean to burn down Wendy's. She liked the wraps!

After that Di went with the officers and I followed her "friend" out of the parking lot who was driving a beat down metro in a startlingly reckless manner.
Now... what does THAT mean Lori from Dreamzone dot com????

busy busy busy like a little busy bee

Feels like I have been nothing but busy the last two months. Fall seems to be the time where everyone decides that they need pictures. And that's fine with me really but since I am still, for the most part, a computer nomad it makes things challenging. I've recently changed from my old photo editing software to Photoshop which has been a joy and a trial, but for being self taught in the realm of photo editing (I've never cracked an instruction manual or a book. Call it what you will but I tend to lean toward "stubborn" and or"lazy") I am feeling pretty good about myself. I still wake in the night from feverish dreams depicting a Mac, but I have also come to terms that I may not get one for a long long.... LONG time. That Mac is like the proverbial carrot on the string dangling in front of my face, just out of reach.

Alas... life sulks miserably on.

On a less brooding, self absorded note: These are pictures I did for Ky and Kayla for homecoming. They were sorta last minute and there wasn't any sun. Randy did reflector duty. Things came out ok. Its hard to take bad pictures of two annoyingly happy people despite drab weather.

Next up I did some family pictures for Suzi. This is a special appology for her for taking so long for me to get out there to take them . I'm SORRY!! Seems like I have plans for SOMETHING for every spare minute of my day. I'm glad that I finally got these done and to her. I was beginning to feel REALLY guilty!! This shoot was sorta challenging as little Averie has developed a shyness concerning me where she won't look me in the eye. Unfortunately that also translates to my camera lens too. Heh.

Its a good thing I plucked the hedgerow otherwise known as my eyebrows and took out all my facial piercings that day.

I do manage to squeeze in some fun too. Last week I got down to Palisades State Park in Sterling for a day of golf and photography. The golf game wasn't bad. I'm enjoying my sweet new shoes (thanks Ber!) and my cute new bag (thanks Baby!). Things are starting to come together. I'm even more sad then usual to see winter coming. Guarenteed it won't be long after the snow flies that you see a blog about my recent escape to warmer climes.