babies scare me...

Its true. I am an annomaly, unique, a genetic freak of nature if you will---but its all true. Lets talk a moment about babies.

I am the youngest of two and my sister is considerably older then me. All my close friends growing up were all the babies of the family or pretty close to it. I never babysat and never had any inclination to. I don't have any kids, and for the most part, have had no desire to have any. Thats right. Somewhere in my genome sequence I missed out on that little guy that gives you a maternal instinct. When they were passing out hot heaping shares of "subconscious need to love anything soft, pink, and mewling" I was in the "sunshine, puppy dogs and lollypops, lala lala la!!" line.

I know some find stance on this topic completely unatural and think theres something wrong with me and thats fine. I, for the love of all that's holy, can't figure out why people wanna have whole litters at 18---so we're even. Its not like I haven't thought about it, and in the end I just came to the conclusion that I invest everything I have into ONE relationship--two, or heaven forbid more then that, would just not work for me. In essence i am too selfish an individual: I like money and things. Kids are expensive. I like to travel. I wanna go to places with a startlingly lack of grown men dressed as cartoon charecters. I like time to immerse myself in my interests. They do not include feces and or any other bodily expulsions.

Strangely enough to some, I'd much rather deal with teenagers. I get along marvelously well with teens. They are a little irrational at times, but look at my family! Thats nothing new. The Crazy is always showing out this way. So bring on the sullen teenagers. Especially the boys, they are less drama. And they don't crap their pants. I say that puts us on a level playing field.

My friend Di has a fabullous list she recites, titled: Another Reason Not To Have Kids. Perhaps she'll post it. Its hillarious.

In the meantime go ahead; cheer me on, pity me for my bad judgement, laugh, or maybe feel a rise of religious indignation about my decisions. Just don't call me to babysit.