Thursday, August 27, 2009

Just looking out for the fatties out there

So guys, in my extensive time on this planet I have accumulated a vast array of knowledge about certain things, and more importantly, life in general. In a recent conversation with a friend I realized that I had yet to impart a very important life lesson to the readers of my blog (I know I have them, the site meter says so. They just NEVER comment because they know my self worth is not measured by such petty little things... where's my Paxil?). SO.. I have decided to go ahead and tell you about what I like to call, "The Python Effect".

This particular lesson has to do with buying clothes. Never ever ever buy pants to big for you. The reason I say this is easily illustrated by our reptile friend the Python. Pythons are large snakes that kill prey by constriction. Many people keep them as pets. An interesting thing to note is that the Python will in general only grow large enough for its enclosure. The bigger the enclosure the bigger the snake will in general grow.

The Python Effect lies in this. Not only will a snake grow to fit its enclosure, but so will a butt. That's it. Simple really. If your pants are loose your butt will instinctively grow to fit them. Do not wear clothes too big for you! Don't ask me how I know such things. It should be apparent.

Take this important lesson and apply it to your life. If I can help just one person avoid the pitfalls of sweat pants I will have done my job.


The Ridgeways said...

hmmm . . . I am off to buy tight pants now.

Amber said...

Sad day for me and my stupid work capris. Why???

Lore said...

This also applies to a certain religious underwear, I do not recall my butt being this big when I wore a thong!

SuziQ said...


liesel said...

now I know.

while reading this, Austin asked me half a dozen times "what!?" but I was laughing too much to answer until the end.