The popsicle calls my name

Bring on the unbearable heat in our sweltering apartment whose windows face due west in which our swamp cooler only pretends to work.

Let rip the higher gas prices.

Tally forth the mosquito bites and all the unbearable itching that comes with them.

Give me the rodeo P.A. system that we can hear clearly from our house which includes the ever witty banter of the rodeo clown in all of its twangy red neck glory.

Let me have the ever growing weeds that spring up overnight in our flowerbeds.

Unleash your multitude of summer vacationing, sweaty, screaming children into places I shop.

Let loose the sun burns, the bugs, and the infernal farmers tans.

Give me golf widowdom, give me flat hair, give me the freakishly loud rooster crowing outside my window at six in the morning. Give me all these things.

Because quite frankly... all of this is better then anything winter.

Let summer begin!!

Little things make me happy

Just finished editing my photos. Did it in a little over a week and it took hours and hours of time. Randy is right, I do only make seven dollars an hour. Bwa ha ha. Fortunately for me its something I really quite enjoy doing. I just wanted to show a couple more from my last shoot:

In my next life I wanna come back looking like this girl!! Thanks to Miranda and Colby for being such good sports.

Lastly... I'm up and making my own CD covers as of tonight. A little thing but one that makes me pretty excited. I'm a dork like that. Isn't it perty???

Turns out I'm a pretty busy girl

This last month has kept me on my toes, and unfortunately a bit stressed, which if you know me, is very uncharacteristic.

I was told by Randy that a certain friend was whining about there not being any interesting blog fodder to read on the Internet of late. Yes I know I have been neglecting my blog writing duties but I've been quite busy, and I mean that in the real way--not in the way you tell someone you didn't call back because they talk incessantly about their kids or their husband or their life. UGH. Please.

No... I really have been crazed. I mean come on. I still have the last two weeks of Idol Tivo'd.

Here's a list of what I've been up to:

• Working at my job 40 hours a week.

• Finally got my hair done after 8 months. No longer look greasy for no reason. Definite improvement. Thanks Heidi!!
  

• Decided to get sick cause I like to talk like the adolescent janitor in Monsters Inc: honking as if I'm going through puberty. At social events.

• Randy and I finally got the flower beds all cleared out so they no longer look like a pioneer child should stumble out of them.

• Shot lovely engagements for Di and Sam (If I do say so myself).

• Co-hosted a bridal shower with my wonderful oven-challenged sister that I think went terribly well despite the apparent lack of any mind-numbing shower games

• Scanning numerous photos for a video played at said shower.

• Went with my buddy Suzi and her brother to Red Rock Brewery for dinner and then to a concert at Salt Air. We saw Hey Monday, Cobra Starship, Metro Station, and All Time Low open up for Fall Out Boy. Fun side note: Suzi upon being told that one of the singers of Metro Station was Hannah Montana's brother decided that she could no longer like them on principal and spent the rest of their set shaking her head and mumbling.

• Did my taxes. Yes. One day before they were due. Because a little panic makes life more interesting.

• With a good word from Kim (thanks!!), and Di and Sam's great photos I booked another engagement job. Shot the gorgeous couple last weekend. Between the two shoots my spare time has been spent editing. Every time Randy walks into the computer room and I'm on the Internet and NOT editing, I get the whole "I'm disappointed in you" look. ::sigh:: Good bye Itunes... hello Photoshop.

• Did manage to squeeze in a game of golf on one of those nice days and shot my best 18 hole score ever. Bonus.

So there you have it. That's whats been keeping me from posting intriguing and provocative blog rants of late. Next up I have weddings and bridals so I'm afraid to say it, but updates are probably going to be a little slow coming. I'll do my best. Don't forget to check in... you never know when I'll have a moment to throw in some more "wardrobe malfunctions" and such.

Because I find correctly fitting undergarments unneccessary

A testament of how much I am NOT a morning person:

This afternoon while using the restroom at work I found that I had put my underwear on backwards.

Awesome right?

However, what truley startled me is that my frame of mind must be so befuddled throughout the day that I never came to the realization that there was a problem despite feeling as if my britches were a bit uncomfortable and also fumbling with the tag (which was sticking up awkwardly in FRONT) the previous TWO times I had taken a potty break.

Wow.

Honor roll student right here guys. I hope these "Mom" moments don't increase in frequency.

And now, as a testament to how lazy I am:

I figured, well hell, its been seven hours already. Why change them now?

To all my friends who KNOW.

This is for all my peeps (yes I used peeps, and not in a way which would seem like I find it's usage cool) who can relate. The people who deal with the public on a day to day basis and especially those who have toiled in the fiery pit of retail. This goes out to all of you:

An Expensive Temper Tantrum, Part 2

Wireless Phone Retail Store | Nashville, TN, USA

(Back story: I sold a woman four phones on a family plan for her and her 3 teenage daughters. She insisted that she be put on the 500 minute plan (the smallest family plan). I informed her that most teenagers can use 500 minutes in a week and begged her to take a larger plan.

She refused and became quite angry and belligerent with me for suggesting “that her daughters were not responsible adults.” I noted on her account that she was advised of all overage charges and that there were to be no refunds on the account for overage charges. One month later she returns purple faced and on the verge of a stroke with her $3,200 phone bill.)

Customer: “I need these charges taken off.”

Me: “No, I explained the overage scale to you when you activated your phone, and begged you to take a larger plan. You insisted this was the one you needed and I cannot refund any of the charges.”

Customer: “F**k you then, and f**k [cellular provider]. Cancel my account!”

Me: “I’ll be happy to deactivate your phones but unfortunately that does not release you from your contract. There will be a $240.00 charge for each phone on the account for breaking your contract and you will still be responsible for the current charges.”

(The customer suddenly throws her phone at my head. I duck and it smashes into the wall in a million pieces.)

Customer: “F**K [cell phone provider]! F**K YOU, AND F**K ALL OF YOU A**HOLES TOO!”

(Inexplicably, the last part was directed at the other customers waiting patiently for her to finish. She then proceeds to storm out to her car, a brand new Lexus SC 430. She redlines the engine, drops it into gear and hits a lamp post hard enough to shatter every piece of glass in the car as well as almost tearing the front half of the car off.)

Customer: *comes back in the store* “Can I use your phone?”

Another Customer: “Karma’s a b**ch, ain’t it?”

I read this gem and many many others like it on Not Always Right which I discovered through Voice of Reason (link on right) who also posted one of her favorites which was, luckily enough, from Utah. Watch out if you plan to visit Not Always Right as the sheer number of horrific, absurd, and mind numbing customer/associate interaction can prove to be VERY amusing and also a tiny personal time machine as when you next look at the clock four hours will have passed.

Better take a snack.

And then I peed my pants.

As you may or may not have noticed (most likely not) on the very bottom in the deep dark crevice of my blog's butt crack is a cruise ticker.

In January we are going to go on a Western Caribbean Carnival cruise. The cruise only has two "sea days" and an extra stop, which pretty much made my toes curl in happiness, because really, no matter the amount of chocolate melting cake or shrimp cocktail the best part of the cruise are the excursions. The cruise disembarks from Miami, which we have a day to play in and from there we go to the Grand Cayman Islands, Isla Rataan (my sister's words: is that where rattan furniture comes from?) Belize and then to Cozumel (And NO.)

Upon looking at the excursions on each stop I saw a smattering of the usual things: beach day, snorkeling, ATV rides, town tours. But then when I got to Cozumel and I saw something that really got me excited. NINE MONTHS IN ADVANCE. That's saying a lot.























Pretty Sensational don't you think? These are the Mayan Ruins of Tulum. Thrilling. They make my chest get all tight and my head all buzzy with happy thoughts.

Am. So. Excited.

Also another sensational bonus to this cruise is that along with some good friends and my personal sunny day otherwise known as Randy, my Sister is coming!! And if possible, I think she is just as excited as me.

Oh yes, and as a side note: I picked the last picture because if you can click on it you can see a number of large men in the tiniest of swim suits. This for some reason amuses me. Because that's how I roll.