Monday, February 23, 2009

Chickens.. or Randy MUST love me

Where we live the animal ordinances still allow certain types of farm animals. This is particularly illustrated by the chicken coop in the backyard directly adjacent to our backyard and also our bedroom window.

We are no fans of chickens. Those who are fond of them are the ones who own the infernal God-made alarm clocks. The rest of us realize that the only type of snooze buttons incorporated on these unfortunate models would have to be a well aimed rock and thus we find them detestable. Trust me, after one early summer morning when you have a day off and are shrieked awake by the yodeling/crowing of not one but TWO adolescent roosters, you too would become a chicken hater. Or at least begin to love eating them so much more. Anyway...

The other day I was in my bedroom reading a book when I heard the chickens kicking up a racket. Usually during the day they are tolerably quiet so I looked out the window to see what was causing the commotion. In the neighbor's back yard were two young kids I didn't recognize and a dog that was running around the pen. I don't think these kids live there and it causes me some irritation, but its not a big deal right? Its not till these two kids go into the pen, get scared and run out leaving the coop open and letting all the chickens escape that I start to feel a rise of righteous indignation. I go into the computer room and tell Randy whats going on and we both look outside. What I see appalls me. The dog has one of the chickens in its mouth and runs round the yard shaking it. Sometimes when the dog lets go the chicken tries weakly to escape only to be grabbed up again. I begin to freak out.

Bless his heart. Randy listens to my escalating yowls a la a cow with distemper, and briskly walks outside, confronts the little kids, jumps the fence and takes the dog off the property. He then spends the next twenty minutes trying to convince these intelligently hampered children that they have done something wrong, that they shouldn't be there and need to get out of this yard and go home. Also, that they are stupid stupid little kids. He then catches all the chickens that he finds so distasteful and returns them to their coop despite pecking and flapping.

The next morning when the chickens started off a cacophony of irritation he stated that he wanted to eat them. Or at least let a dog do it.

See. That's LOVE.

(And seriously, what's up with kids these days? Is the gene pool so shallow that children upon doing something WRONG don't even have the sense to RUN anymore??? What the...? )


The Ridgeways said...

Nope most don't . . . They feel entitled to be there. Really pisses me off too. I have been known to drag these "entitled" children by their ear back to their home knock on the door and tell the mother she lost one of her kids and please don't let it happen again. Yup, I am ever so popular in my neighborhood, lol.

The Ridgeways said...

Oh and that is super cute of Randy and definitely a sign of Great LOVE!

liesel said...

Stupid, stupid children. Yay for Randy, who despite the hatred of chickens, went above and beyond the call of neighborly duty and saved the day.

I say that entitles you guys to a few well placed "snooze" rocks come Saturday morning.

Shamelessly said...

Mel, I love how you just say and do what you want--and I'm thrilled some of those things bring shame to bad parental types.

Liesel... trust me. I've thought about it on occasion. Do you think an airsoft gun would cause permanent injury and or death? Is it basically theft to cause swift painless death to animals belonging to another? Its my latest moral issue. LOL.