An emotional plea...

Dear Ornery Old Man in the Fast Lane,

Why? Why do you insist on driving 69 miles per hour in the fast lane and refuse to move back into the middle lane when you aren't going fast enough to pass traffic? Why? Do you feel it is your own personal duty to keep others under the posted speed limit? Do you feel perhaps that the passing lane system is flawed and thus seek to destroy it single handedly? Do you perchance enjoy the power to make other motorists furious, or late, or poop their pants? Does the sight of an empty highway stretching on for miles in front of you as you block the flow of traffic by keeping neck and neck with an panel delivery truck bring you back to your glory days? And why if you will not let others use the lane for its intended purpose do you speed up as others try to pass you on the right? And WHY in the name of all that is HOLY do you not move to the carpool lane since you're with your crotchety old lady ANYWAY???? There you can do all that you are doing and I will not only support it, I will applaud your actions (my next letter is Dear Guy In The Carpool Lane That Moves Into The Fast Lane To Let Others Pass--for some strange unfortold reason). So why old man? Why?

Sir, I implore you. Please, please, PLEASE remove that big old chip of "That Doesn't Apply to Me" from your backside and move into the middle lane where you belong unless you actually need to pass and become a respectable member of society.

Sincerely,

Tracy