mishaps make the best stories

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Mishaps always make for the most entertaining tales. Perhaps some day I will blog the horror story that was my date with "Fingers", or enlighten you about the time Lucky and I went on our first girl's only camping trip and our run in with "Joe," the girlfriend abusing drunkard. Maybe just maybe you'll hear the one about Chanel jumping out of the ravine charging golf cart. Maybe.

Today I will hopefully amuse you with an adventure titled: Tracy and the "So That's Why They Make You Sign a Waiver" Castle of Chaos

Last year right around this time Randy and I went on a double date with his charming work associate and his lovely wife. For anonymity's sake we will call them Jack and Jill. First off we went to Tepenyaki and had dinner there cause well... it makes me salivate. Sushi anyone?? O-kay... getting sidetracked. Back to the story. After we retreated to our home to decide what to do next. We finally went with a haunted house and all agreed on the Castle of Chaos. Mainly I think cause it had the best website. Or the coolest name. I forget.

Note to self: Do not make judgements on a night's activities by the coolness of websites or the awesomeness of titles. It will only end in tragedy, or at least one person being really really pissed.

Anyhow, it was a cold and rainy night. We drove downtown and got in line and were staggered by the admission price first off. Despite that we got the "X-Scream Pass" which was an extended part of the house for a little extra. I got ready for the mingled sense of anxiety, awkwardness, and very slight fear that usually accompanies your run of the mill haunted house. Silly me, I should have gotten ready for things more like pain, horror and disgust.

Things started just as they should and exactly how I expected. Lots of screaming teenage girls, bad make-up, fog machines, Randy and Jack making off-hand remarks to the actors. You know the usual. Then things took a turn for the worse. We entered a room where the actors herded two of your party into "coffins" that they had to lay in and they would pass through the wall while the rest of your group walked around and was confronted by your usual crowd of ghouls. Since we had gone to dinner, I was wearing a suit jacket and a sweater vest and didn't feel like getting dirty or rumpled so I opted to go around. After the corner the room had a strobe light. As I walked through the room one of the actors lunged at me in order to scare me.

Now maybe its an occupational hazard for the actor, but I didn't sign up for what came next. Perhaps thrown off by the strobe light, (I guess you never get used to them or maybe cause I just rule that way) the young man, who was wearing glasses at the time, while lunging at me, resoundingly, head-butted me. I was told later by Jack that you could completely hear the THWACK even with all the other noise going on. Everything went black, the pain was intense and I staggered a bit. The actor also staggered back clutching his head and mumbled "sorry" while holding onto his glasses which had snapped in half.

This was about the time that I noticed that he had hit me so hard one of my soft contacts had popped out of my eye. Fantastic. Super even. Did I mention I still had half of the house to go with that blasted extended pass? The rest of the first house was a muddled foggy mess in my mind. My head hurt, I couldn't see worth a damn, and I was royally pissed off.

When we got to the end of the first section we got to a waiting area where I found that we had collided so hard that I was wearing some of the accident prone kid's make-up. I had a white smear across my forehead (and a HUGE headache). Everyone had a good laugh. Well almost everyone.

Next up, thankfully the last of my trials. We entered into the second section and were told that we had two choices: go through this curtain by yourself or CRAWL on your hands and knees through a tunnel. OK then. They only let two of each party go the curtain route so I ended up crawling in my suit jacket and nice clothes through a tunnel where hundreds of people had already passed on this rainy night.

I. Was. Pleased.

The rest of the house consisted of my clutching onto the back of Jill's coat so i wouldn't get lost being that I couldn't see--fog or not, and trying not to be the "Really Bitter Person that Ruins Everyone Else's Good Time".

I'm now told that this year they make you sign a waiver cause they get "blood" and such on you and the actors can touch you but you can't touch them. Like blood flinging, grabby strippers or something. I think I pass.

Fall is almost here,,,

And frankly that blows... but it IS a good time to go out and get some pictures taken. Even if the colors are, in my humble opinion, lacking this year. We went up American Fork canyon and to Silver Lake Flats. You can skip that guys... the lake is more like a half empty puddle. Besides it's second strike is the actual unpaved road getting there. Not my favorite. We did a little hiking to get the aspen shots and were just lucky to come upon a train next to an old water tower on the way back down the other side of the mountain. All in all, it was a nice ride, the scenery was pretty and I got to torture a teenager AND his dad for a good part of three hours!! Too much fun!

happy birthday to me, me, ME!!

Because my birthday is coming up soon now, and I am going to be old, and also because I was raised to be crass and vulgar I thought I would make a list of things I want for my birthday. That way all my friends, loved ones and family members know what to get me. Especially those "trust fund baby" friends that are living modestly because they don't want friends like myself to know and treat them differently. Hey no worries!! I'll treat you like dirt the same as ever!! Now get me something!!

Also as a side note, could you PLEASE coordinate your gift giving with each other so I don't have to PRETEND to be excited about something I already got? Seriously that blows. How about we just use the comments sorta like a gift registry and you can say what fabulous thing you're gonna get me. Genius!! And while we're at it people... stick to the list. I don't like it when people go all "rogue" and think they are being "imaginative". Imaginative = Crap I Don't Want. Thank you.

First things first. We'll start out slow. I would like a iMac desktop computer. A fabulous machine I have been coveting for well over a year and which every Justin Long commercial successfully rubs my nose into. As a special bonus for whoever gets me this, I will take and edit family pictures for them for LIFE. Pretty sweet deal eh?? Eh?? Yeah I know folks, take it easy, first come first serve. Reminder: I only need one.

Next we have golf equipment. I'd like a new Taylormade Burner. I'm sure Randy could help you with specifics if you'd like to get a hold of him. I also am in need of a new set of irons and a pair of shoes. Lastly I really would enjoy a new bag. I'm really picky on the bag, guys. So make sure you covertly ASK me before you ASSUME that I like Nike, because seriously... what IS that?

Now don't think I left out my non-working nieces and nephew. Theres something on the list for everyone folks! I'd like some more Dolce and Gabanna Light Blue perfume. Its a better deal if you get it in the set with the lotion and bodywash so I guess that would be ok. But for heavens sake... get it gift wrapped at least. Show you care.

Next up is the new Cannon 50D. I've been thinking I really need something with a bit more oomph. If you know what I mean. And while we're at it, if you just wanna add on any of the Image Stabalizing lenses by Cannon, that would make an adorable gift basket. Any of the lenses will do really, I'm not picky. But lets stick with the Cannon. Knock-off's aren't really my style, if you know what I mean. I'm less particular about lighting equipment if you wanna do some add-ons.

And there you have it. I know what you're thinking, but the list is so short!! I know, right? I don't want much. I'm a pretty simple girl and my needs are relatively small. I tried and tried to think up more but this is all I could come up with. If you have any questions about certain specifics feel free to give me a shout out. Happy shopping!

boys and their toys

Yesterday Lore, Brittany, and I took Kyle to visit Randy. The idea was that Randy could take the tractor crazy kid on a ride on the back hoe. I was SHOCKED when instead Randy rattled up in a MASSIVE loader.

At first Kyle wasn't sure what to think about this huge loud thing and started to cry. He really didn't want to do anything but get off of it until Randy asked him if he wanted to go for a ride and run us over to which he answered with a prompt, "Yesh".

Figures.

Off they set on a nearly fifteen minute ride!!

What did we do when left by the side of the curb for that long with nothing but each other for company????



Who else thinks these are hillarious???? What can I say? Severe dorkiness runs in my family.


By the time they got back Kyle was all about the loader. He was dropping the bucket and steering and honking the horn.

Ain't no thing.


He had no sooner gotten off then he was asking to go for another ride. We think he liked it and it was lots of fun for us all to watch.

THANKS RANDY!!!!

In which I torture myself and learn a lesson in futility

Saturday I went golfing.

That in itself should be enough of an explanation for my title, but alas, not a very good blog post. It started out so well too. It was a lovely Saturday. I went with Randy and my good friend Ber to Spanish Oaks. Its a nice course. I enjoy it. It was delightfully sunny, but not too hot. Ber loaded us down with all types of "cart-goodies". I remembered my camera for once. It was a good first hole; a little rough off the tee, but no biggie. I was gonna have fun with people I love, stuff my face, get some exercise and work on my tan. All in all it seemed like it was going to be a pretty good time.

Then the second hole happened and in succession I started to have a complete meltdown. Not only could I not get off the tee but I couldn't hit any sort of second shot either. At first I tried to distract myself from my dismal attempts to swing a club by sticking licorice up Ber's nose and tripping on my own footwear but even that started to lose some luster after the state of suck continued. To make matters worse, Ber pretty much had the best 18 holes I've ever seen her play. If we only could have combined her game with my chipping and putting (the only thing redeming in any form throughout the day) we would have been sensational!! I noticed as my frustration and bitterness ensued that Ber started to get very quiet, shrinking to her side of the cart, perhaps, much like a frightened animal, that I might not notice her and thus not gouge her eyes out and wear them like olives on my fingers.

To include the preverbial cherry on top of my whip cream sundae of steaming crap, I had waited to get the camera out for the sun to get a bit lower and by the time it should have been perfect, big dark yucky clouds moved in and I only got one decent picture of the entire day. Add that to the fact that my dinner after at Red Robin was an equal disappointment the day was almost a complete bust!

Notice I did say ALMOST. There WERE some redeeming factors. I did say I got to spend time with two people I adore a whole lot, even while pissy. Randy as always was very patient, and tried to cheer me up and help me out. Ber totally could have rubbed my face into my sudden lack of complete hand-eye coordination, especially when her game was going so well, and never did. I really did work on my tan and ate a lot of junk food and I'm sure I burn just as many calories when I throw my clubs as when I actually hit something. And yes I realize I included eating junk food and burning calories in the same breath, but thats cause I would eat the junk food regardless. The burning off of those aforementioned calories is just a bonus. See... not so bad afterall.

In Memory of...

A year ago today someone that I cared about passed away. This past year since his death has been hard on a lot of people that I have come to love and care about and of course myself as well. So on this day I wanted to take a moment to touch on some of the qualities of this extraordinary young man in the hopes that as we all continue on we can try to incorporate some of those traits into our lives and learn from his example, and in turn, celebrate his life. Because if anything can be said of Kiefer, you can definitely say he was inspiring.

Kiefer had just an ineffable sence of joy about life. He had a thousand watt smile. He knew how to laugh at himself and he knew how to make others laugh. Oftentimes you laughed without even wanting to, so crazy and harebrianed some of the things he said were, but you couldn't help it. You would just find yourself shaking your head in disbelief. Sometimes Kiefer would laugh about some joke that he found so hillarious he'd fall helpless on the floor but was incapable of telling you WHY he was laughing. In those cases you basically just started laughing at him. It was like he just couldn't help it. The joy would bubble out of him like a spring.

Kiefer, much like his father, had a most definite sence of self. He didn't care what anyone else thought or said. He could as easily stand on a stage giving a monologue from Julius Ceasar or make a fool of himself in the middle of Walmart in front of a gaggle of girls as he could debate private heath care with a family practitioner. I called him "No Shame" for a reason. He said what he wanted and wore what he wanted. If that included wearing eyeliner to soccer practice and taking flack from the coach, so be it. He didn't define himself by what he wore one day or what people thought of him. So many people would try to shove this long boarding, black clothes-wearing, faux-hawk-coifed kid into a certain box, and so many were surprised when they found that he lettered in debate (a skill he undoubtably rendered from his mother), and loved writing short stories and poetry.

Kiefer LOVED. And of course was loved fiercely in return. He had a huge extended family of friends and seemed to make more everywhere he went. He had a special affinity for those in need and extended himself to people that maybe needed a friend or a shoulder. This wanting to help others spread to social causes as well whether it be Sub for Santa or children in Africa without shoes. He wanted nothing better then to make people happy. He loved passionately and gave freely to those who needed it.

While a mischevious teen fond of sneaking out and planning non-parental approved adventures with his friends, making his mom crazy, and single-handedly giving reason for parents of teenage girls to lock all their doors, Kiefer was, above all, a young man with a huge heart. He was ambitious and smart, loving and passionate, tallented and imaginative and chock full of more self confidence then a teenager should rightfully have.

I take away my own lessons from Kiefer. His legacy for me has been to try and appreciate those I love a bit more. To maybe be a bit more passionate, a bit more caring, to laugh a little more, be a little crazy sometimes, and perhaps to take more joy in my life.

I hope others who knew him do the same. I miss you Kiefer!

Just when you thought it was safe to delete the link...

I know that its been awhile and I thought what better way to get back on the good ole blog wagon then by going over some of the things that I am really enjoying at the moment. You know the things that make you smile right now, or make you happy, or make you drool. The basics. So without further ado...

1. My sister's Cricket flat iron. This thing makes my flat iron seem like I spent thirty dollars on it. Oh yeah. I did. Apparently this Cricket is a bit pricier. I know I will never shell out a hundred dollars on one so I basically just have to covet it. It makes my hair so straight and yet in some strange way doesn't make it look flat. I love it. Some days when I walk by I pet it. I think it likes that.

2. The Dark Knight. Come on. How could you NOT love this movie??? It was way more fantastic then I had anticipated. We promptly saw it a second time two days later and it was just as good. I think its probably the best thing I have seen this year. The Joker. The Joker people!! It doesn't need anything said further. Favorite line: "Why so serious!???"

3. Summer nights. I love the summer and summer evenings are my favorite times of the entire year! Whether its spent going on long walks, or hitting balls, or going for drives, it doesn't matter. Theres just something about them that makes me just shudder with happiness!! Best. Thing. Ever.

4. Randy, my sister, and I recently went to the Kimball Arts Festival in Park City and there was an artist there who did some fantastic original art. Usually I'm a little ho-hum about things I see there. It was the first thing that actually prompted me to wish I actually had the 900 dollars to spend on the piece. His name is Anthony Hansen and he does some incredible metal work. I totally fell in love with his hearts. They were rock and roll and whimsical and kick ass all at the same time. Check him out if you have a minute, http://www.anthonyhansen.com/. They were more fantastic in person.

5. Slurpees. I don't know why but there isn't a time when I don't think one of these sounds good. I'm usually a Coke Slurpee girl but the other day I got the orange Gatoraid one and was quite pleased. And you know what? I'm no summer icey treat snob. Oh no, I will take a Snowie and be just as happy.

6. Thats What You Get by Paramour. Love this song right now. And considering that I am always skeptical about female led rock bands thats saying a lot! Also Bust It Baby by Plies. I dunno, its hip hop and sweet in a way. I dig it.

7. El Pollo Loco. Its new. Its chicken. It comes with avacodo salsa. Whats not to like?? I would take this over KFC anyday. The Mac and cheese is really yummy too.

8. My new Ed Hardy perfume. Trendy? I guess it could be, but I didn't know it was. I just like the way it smells. Its still not better then Light Blue, but I've yet to find anything I love THAT much.

9. Golf. I suck. And sometimes I make myself frustrated and try to bludgen small mammals with my clubs, but I love it. I always have a good time even if I DO have a melt down. Randy is VERY patient with me. Everytime I hit that one shot that just works out right everything that was bad before fades away. Besides... have you seen my tan???

10. I did some pictures for G a while ago and I do have to say that he was a picture perfect little model. I bet he loves to hear that! Bwa ha ha. Anyway... these are a few of my favorites from the shoot!!

So thats what I'm feeling right now. How about you? What's really winding your clock? Got a differing opinion? Lets hear it. Either leave a comment or link up and make your own post!